Okay, I just saw my post from this morning, and there were serious typos in it. I can’t believe anyone hit the heart. Thank you if you did, but damn! And I would like you to know that every time I find such mistakes, it’s because I’m in a hurry.
I had written early this morning, got everything ready to post, and then had to rush off to try and earn some money. Every time I do this, I screw up. Not that I don’t screw up other times, because I do. I’m one of those writers, though, who after my initial writing, revision, and evidently poor editing, I may not read my work again for some time. I don’t even know what made me look back at this morning’s post. I wrote all questions this morning. The section I messed up was this, which I will give correctly here. “What does all this pragmatic reasoning say to our Heart? What? Does it declare — oh, I think it does — that we at core Self don’t have the abilities, the gifts, the will, the fortitude, the implacability to discover all the fulfillment, safety, security, reasonableness, significance, satisfaction, joy, and rejoicing within us? And what about things greater than those, yet work in concert and harmony with those, emotions and realities of peace and love? Should these not be the things, the commerce, the qualities of pragmatism?” I go back to this because these were direct words I heard from my Heart. I love to think in questions, anyway. I use questioning extensively in dealing with students. I model for them and train them to think in questions. Questions create a brain response of receptivity and give our brains a marked place to store new information, thoughts, connections, and answers to the posed questions. It’s like they create a little file folder in which we can tuck away all related information. Pretty nifty. This morning I presented question overload, I know. It was purposeful. If we were working one on one, I would ask you to analyze the questions and create two or three categories, and then place each question in one of your categories. I would have you talk about or explore in writing what the categories mean to you and why you placed each question where you did. I might have you do some directed freewrites on the content of each category. And more. But we are not working together, at least not this evening. Therefore, please allow me to make a few points. My questions, while they could be answered in many ways, were only meant to help readers think about their relationship of core Self to the world. Our adept ego knows how to confuse our minds, and it does so in order to help us feel, look, and be socially acceptable. The only problem is the standards of society are not, by and large, Heart standards, because they are mostly set through ego. Proof? It’s abundant. Most people identify themselves as their job: teacher, masseuse, server, etc. That is not who you or anyone else is. Those are jobs, but what do the jobs represent? How do they make us feel, which is especially significant because some dynamic led us to willingly accept them? (Hint: Ego). How do you think you would feel if you were living Heart truth, core Self identity? Would your ego-prompted job be one, as I asked this morning, that you dread awaking for, endure with gritted teeth, and seethe over with unidentified, anger? Are they jobs we can only dream of retiring from? If we feel like this, we are not living Heart, and this is not condemnation; it’s sorrow. Yet, society says we must suck it up and keep plowing ahead thinking about some future, one in which we will be free to do something else. Bullshit. Such an attitude is viewed as pragmatism; we have to be realistic, be practical. Why can’t you discover who that core Self is and decide how you can express that to the world? We can, and that is the focus of so much of my work. Discovery of Self leads to the meaning of life. Pragmatism should be redefined. A pragmatic question should not be about what I have to do to make money, to have things, to be acceptable to society. A pragmatic question should be about how any activity of life helps me express who I am as core Self. If it doesn’t, then find out what does and walk away from what doesn’t — no “But what if this? How about that?” Whether pragmatic or not, all of the significance and meaning of life hangs on knowing who we truly are. Society works against that, because society is egoic and egos will eat the standards of others up and shit out acceptability and conformity. I won’t have it, and neither should you. One day, the more people awaken, maybe Heart standards will be the norm. Until then, we all have those big questions to answer. Who am I? How do I live that in expressions of love to this world? Those are the only questions that really matter, right now, tomorrow morning, or all the time until they are answered. And I have to answer that about things in my life, things not serving Me, at least not directly. Progress, growth. Onward and Upward!
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Look at this fine piece of writing! It’s powerful, magnificent, isn’t it? I didn’t know I could create such a beautiful piece. Here’s a pearl to behold!
The above scenario portrays a natural desire of those who seek to create. I re-read what I wrote last night about pearls and stimuli and all that stuff, and if anything, I said, “Just when I thought I was making a breakthrough, I failed.” I don’t know if it was clear or not. I do know ego mounts a powerful effort to seek approval from others, to make self important, and to garner praise. My Heart had cautioned me to stop seeking to produce pearls of writing for praise, because I have a greater ulterior motive. That motive revolves around my life Purpose. I seek to continue discovering aspects of Self, sharing those, and using my insights to help others discover themselves — their core identity and life purpose. I want my writing to be clear, and that should be my focus. Not some words overlaid by my ego with glitz, glitter, and pearly nacre. Walt Whitman, in reference to the relationship his writing had to his readers, said this: “…the reader is to do something for him or herself, must be on the alert, just construct indeed the poem, argument, history, metaphysical essay — the text furnishing the hints, the clue, the start, the framework.” It’s not exactly what I’m talking about, but the sentiment coincides. I present from my Heart to the reader. The reader’s Heart must make use of it — well, the ego could make use of it, too, but I’m shooting for Heart to Heart! And I hope your Heart makes something beautiful and significant out of it for yourself. No matter in what form the exchange occurs, it must occur if we are to live significant, fulfilled lives. We are hardwired to live in social groups, and when Heart is the operating system for individuals, we experience the greatest meaning. Therefore, I mean for my communication to enable you to discover more of Self, more of purpose, more of joy. And then, I wait for your Heart expressions to me so I may grow. Maybe you co-created a life purpose as a mechanic, architect, salesperson, or any of a multitude of possibilities. It’s a pretty awesome set-up. When too many depart from that or have never engaged in that, though, society experiences ills and negativity. Many folks, maybe no one, may pay much, if any, attention to the stimulus I offer. But you know what? I am still fulfilling my life Purpose, expecting blessing to come about in some way from it. I have no other choice, nor do I want any other choice but that of faith in the design of the Universe and Spirit. I know some will receive and add layers of beauty over the grains of sand I offer to stimulate discovery, layer upon layer of beauty creating flawless pearls revealing the beauty of the receivers’ Heart and the beauty of the fellowship of the Heart. When that happens, all else — prejudices, hatreds, likes, dislikes, disgusts, revulsions — falls away in the light of Heart-love and life Purpose. People focusing on knowing Self and living their truth in their purpose don’t have time or place for such negativity, because they are too involved in matters of eternal soul worth and love. I am filled with gratefulness tonight for our connection, our fellowship. Whenever you read this — as I write, it is a magnificent Sunday night here in the Midwestern United States — may it be a time of Heart discovery and happy blessings for you. When I write about my novel, The Fellowship of the Heart, I am creating fiction. The fictional characters and plot, however, have an aim, an intention, of encouraging readers either in their search for Self and Purpose or in confirming they are part of the wild, wonderful orchestration of life and the Universe meeting here in time and space.
Therefore, when I mention I was in fellowship with my Heart at some given time, I mean I was having a conversation with that deep, eternal part of me, my core Self, who links me to energies of life that transcend time and space. This morning, as every day, I was in such fellowship, and I spoke with my Heart about my writing. I know I have improved, and I know sometimes I miss the mark. This has been the awesome part of publishing every single day. I’ve learned much. I don’t always know how effective I am. I can’t worry about that, though. Readers determine effectiveness: if they receive value, then I was effective; if they don’t, I wasn’t very effective. Many variables, though, affect response. Responses and lack thereof to my writing remind me to keep working to improve my craft; they also remind me not to be overly concerned because things like time of day, holidays, national and international news and events, weekends and weekdays — all affect responses. Having said this, I would like to share part of what my Heart told me this morning. Surprise to me! After all my thoughts about Ego, I have been unaware of how much it has influenced some of my work. Oh, I know in some ways it always will; however, awareness and continuing awakening means growth, growth I will share if I believe it valuable and productive. I have likened the subconscious, deep parts of us to working like operating systems on a computer: the eOS (Ego Operating System) and the hOS (Heart Operating System). This is something I have internalized; my Heart told me this morning I have been allowing eOS to run intermittently and it’s created a glitch. How? I haven’t realized a fuller extent of what hOS really implies. I have thought of the concept as if Ego is always there, waiting to pounce, and it’s almost like a competition. I can almost hear Ego saying, “You dirty rat. You chose Heart today. I’m gonna get you, you filthy animal.” Or something like that. My Heart told me directly this morning this way of thinking has empowered Ego. I need to choose hOS, fully install it, and let it deal with eOS. Yes, ego will always be part of me, but I will now let Heart use it as necessary for legitimate purposes. In other words, I must allow Heart to have full sway and release Ego to that way of functioning. You see, this must become my way of thinking, my mindset, or I will not grow. I want to grow; really, I do. I feel I have new freedom in my writing. This morning I mentioned I would say something about pearls, and it’s in reference to my writing. When ego runs as a low level background program, not being controlled by Heart, it adds layers over my writing. Like a pearl in an oyster or even the inside of its shell, a biochemical process adds layer upon layer of a substance called nacre. That’s the pearl, the shiny, iridescent beautiful treasure. Hold on, I’m not there yet! I know at times I have used challenging vocabulary because it made sense to me. I still will, I know, because in part I draw fine lines between words and concepts I believe are helpful; however, I am fairly certain such vocabulary has made my writing more difficult to read. A layer of nacre. My sentence structures are complex. I need to work on that. It’s another ego layer of nacre being secreted. I know most people want that glowing pearl. I don’t. I want my writing to be the real, raw, earthy, gritty grain of sand or irritant that starts the process. I want to take all those layers of nacre off, peel them away, dissolve them, so my readers get my honest, whole-Hearted meaning. Make no mistake. I appreciate beauty, but not at the expense of being blinded to reality. By the way, did you know pearls can be marred, even dissolved by vinegar, a very weak acid solution? Yep, I will seek to be pouring some vinegar over my work. I want the root of it, the foundation, the unvarnished, un-nacred truth of it to help whoever may set eyes on my writing. While I seek to dissolve the Ego coatings over my work, I hope that raw elemental grain will be something from which you can create a pearl of beauty for yourself. That’s where my ego played into it. Only you can create your own beauty; it’s beyond my scope and authority. I’ll just try to give you something you can build on. If you are a regular reader, thank you for enjoying the journey with me. Even though I want to un-layer the shiny shit from my writing, I hope it ends up being something of beauty for your soul. Blessings! Judgment and blessing hold great power both for those judged and the judge, for those blessed and the blesser.This morning, I thought of two biblical ideas in reference to these ideas.
The first is in reference to Jesus of Nazareth, who at one point is confronted by a crowd demanding the death of a prostitute. They judge her worthy of death. Their judgment is worthless, as Jesus says, “Let him who is without sin among you cast the first stone.” Nobody could do it. Why? In essence, he says to them, “Judge your own sin. Each of you need to take care of yourselves.” He tells the Pharisees later on to take the log out of their own eye before they try to remove a stick from someone else’s. It’s all about minding our own souls. We need to look to our own soul. We need to understand the root of all sin lies in the neglect of hearing our own Heart. This can happen either because we allow Ego to rule by default, which happens when we don’t consciously seek Heart, or because we have heard Heart and have consciously rejected it. No, neither you nor I are in a position to set ourselves up as judges. And I will tell you this: Ego loves that shit, but deep down it makes us heart-sick. It’s rotten to always be evaluating the worth or merit or actions of others, especially when we don’t know the whole story. Based on the wild, stupid shit ignorant, cruel people post on social media about whole subcultures of those who are different from themselves, this is rampant. And yes, in a way my statement is a judgment, but the judgment lies in this. When people act in cruel, destructive, demeaning ways, i.e., when their actions are outwardly expressed towards others, then my judgment says they are not listening to their own hearts. Such people are weak and unhappy in their souls. They have no joy that is deep, Heart-joy. And my opinion would stop there about personal matters. The other idea spoken of in the Bible is blessing. Blessings can be quantified, sometimes, by the receiver; however, what is going on with the blesser? It is said in the book of Hebrews that the lesser is blessed by the greater. If we can send positive, good, kind, and loving thoughts to others who are, momentarily, in some down or weakened state, we are greater. I am not talking superiority by nature here, only by circumstance, because the blesser can be in need of blessing in a matter of seconds. However, for the moment, the blesser has a way of looking at life that they can share with someone in need, someone who isn’t quite there yet, someone who is struggling, i.e., someone who hasn’t learned or achieved where the blesser is. The blesser is sharing personal truth, Heart-truth, which is sharing love. Those who can share blessing with others are themselves blessed, blessed by the eternal, divine nature in them. That’s what is really going on with the blesser, and it’s nothing close to a show of superiority. Blessing others reveals Heart-filter is being used. Blessers see the great things of life as abundant, unlimited, and available to all, and they share that. When I view the world, my world, like that, it produces joy. Sharing the abundance of the Universe by sharing my love with others creates a big old blessing circle. It’s a lot more fulfilling than depending on others to give me things that make me feel good. That’s an odd, almost victim, mentality, a pity party: “Won’t somebody bless me, give me something, because I’m so hard up?” Next time we realize we are on the verge of pronouncing judgment on someone, clamoring for their censure or maybe even death because we feel they are so evil, we should stop and think about how that will make us feel. We should stop and see if we are listening to our Heart. We should ask Heart if we are living our truth in such a way that we can’t condemn self. If we do that, I’m pretty damn sure we’ll do exactly what the crowd around Jesus did. Slink away with our heads hung low. When those times come that Ego uses to tempt us to judge, cry out to Heart and ask for the way of blessing to address or think about that person. (Blessing doesn’t have to be given face to face, necessarily). Choose to live and walk and respond according to our personal truth; that will bless others and bless us. How I look at life determines how life looks at me. So, I choose to live the eternity and divinity that is Me, my Heart, core Self. I choose to allow in and embrace Love, not judgment — Heart not Ego. I will choose to live in an attitude of blessing today, looking on life as miraculous, engaging the magic, and enjoying the progress of building my vision. I know that will bless others. I wrote this morning about how to monetize my writing, speaking, and working with individuals. It’s taken me a long time to seriously consider such, and I’m being real here.
Hey, I was a teacher, and we are programmed to give away our souls. Of course, I was a vocal, rebellious teacher who loved my students, which did nothing for the concept of helping them in any way I could for no more pay. However, all of this brought up a deeper issue for me, one that my Heart clearly communicated to me as we fellowshipped this morning. I didn’t hear a clear, crystallized plan in my head until this morning. I had vaguely thought, and thought a lot, about how I might make some money, but not having a plan to work makes such thoughts, no matter how grandiose, worthless. I asked my Heart why this was never so clear before. Heart answer? I wasn’t ready for it before. Now, you should know I am what educators call a slow processor. I think it’s because I consider ideas pretty deeply before I’m comfortable responding to and acting on them or developing them in some way. Maybe I just have slow neuron connections. Doesn’t matter, really, because the message from Heart was unequivocal: I wasn’t ready to go to the next step yet. How am I now? Because I have become comfortable being a writer, I know the choice I made to write is my creation, mine and Spirit’s as Heart mediated that bond. This is my personal truth, to be a discoverer and to share my discoveries to help others become discoverers of themselves. I have learned once I come to know core Self and personal truth in terms of life purpose, magic begins working. I think it’s a two-way street, actually. I began working magic. How does that happen? Knowing my Purpose, I sought to summon life energies, energy fields and waves of the Universe as given by Spirit. And the Universe obliges — confirmations, affirmations, understanding, peace, love, open doors, insight into things many do not see, because I’m the one who needs them. Magic can take many forms, and I know what I am using and works — for now. Maybe more will follow. I’m always open to learning. So, knowing core Self and determining life Purpose establishes personal truth. This gives the ability to ignore others who may not care or encourage me in my path. Then, as if this isn’t all magic enough, I can consciously and continuously engage the magic of the Universe all around us in the energies of Life. Pretty awesome! My Heart spoke all this to me this morning, and all the above was a reminder. Because I needed to be prepared for the little magical truth that Heart dropped on me when I asked why things weren’t so crystal clear before. I had already heard I wasn’t ready, but in what way? I have read a shit load of stuff about business development, been to conferences and seminars and workshops and read Gary Vaynerchuk books and watched Casey Neistat videos, and I have some very business savvy friends. Why hadn’t I put it all together before? “You weren’t ready emotionally. You weren’t convinced. There was still some doubt. Remember this, it’s not just mindset. You tried to use that for years. You know enough for now. Now know this: Mind set + Emotional set = Motion set. Get your ass busy. Move. It’s important.” I was excited to see that little formula take shape on my page as I wrote by hand my personal morning pages. Really excited. But it wasn’t anything new in the sense I knew this worked for and is required for true learning to occur. In education, learning becomes the motion, the action, the work. But here it was applied directly to me by my own heart about all of this that has become my personal truth. Today, I have begun laying out my campaign. I cannot do it alone. I am rewriting my novel, The Fellowship of the Heart. I am considering that like research and development, a product that needs to get to market as quickly as possible. In the meantime, I have other products I want to begin offering. And this is not mercenary. It is my Heart. If you don’t believe in magic and summoning the energies of life to erase doubt and drive us forward, consider this. During the day, I thought about approaches to this. The fire of the morning, though, had abated some. Did I really need to hurry, feel urgency? Why would anyone need this? I thought about this as I walked my puppies. When I got back to the house, I saw the news that a St. Louis County police officer, Blake Snyder, was murdered in cold blood by an eighteen year old. God, I was so angry, and I didn’t know why except for the obvious. My anger was unreasonable in some ways, bordering on rage. I asked my Heart why, and the answer was simple. “If you have any doubts about the urgency of getting your work out there, here is the answer. People need it. Those who know their heart and walk in their truth work for love. They don’t murder and rage.” Then, I realized rage is not going to help Officer Snyder’s family. Only love will do that. So, there it is. I will be putting a campaign and marketing strategy together. I will be offering products. I will work for and offer love. |
Questions to consider:How many times have you asked yourself or simply thought about the following questions?
Who am I, really? What is my truth? How do my actions reveal what I really feel and believe? What would I do with my life if I could do anything? What is my passion? Why am I here? How can I discover answers to any of these questions? If you have considered any of these questions, I hope that my experiences and writing will give you some guidance. Please read my blog and comment and share your thoughts. I would love to hear from you! Archives
December 2019
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