When egomaniacs who equate making a living with making money and having power through that devise an agenda, hurting others rarely crosses their mind. They only think of their own cleverness in helping themselves.

​On the other hand, those like Eric Lafarnge who have discovered Self and created Purpose and Vision with their Heart understand that the focus of life becomes living the purpose we make, we create. Money and power have little to do with that.

The portion of The Fellowship of the Heart I am sharing this evening is lengthy, so I’m not commenting more than this for tonight — (I even abridged it for this post!).
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Since Anne and Eric had re-opened a more normal, warm communication, he found everything more interesting, more intriguing than he ever had.

His engagement in the Oprimida case had grown. Since he and Anne had not been able to have a child, he had not paid much attention to education issues, at least not in an activist way. Mariela Oprimida left anyone she met little choice: they understood what an educational activist believed. Eric caught her enthusiasm and plunged himself into the specific issues for which she was terminated from the school district where she had taught for twelve years.

Mariela had become alarmed based on a number of trends, not the least of which was the decades old high stakes testing that determined teacher evaluation. She knew this directly impacted instruction in the classroom, that little motivation for teachers or students to be excited about learning existed in the classroom. But the last two years had seen more stringent guidelines discussed, including a federal curriculum which Governor Etts had determined to champion in Missouri.

She had spoken in an informal capacity to her colleagues and students about the negative effects of such legislation. She had also addressed a large group of educators in a formal setting when she had been named the teacher of the year in Missouri two years prior. She shared with Eric the exact way the school district and principal targeted her. They had used staff members to catch her speaking about “subversive” attitudes concerning district and state directives and actions. Words spoken in private conversations became public knowledge before she knew what was occurring.

She stood as a staunch advocate for the children, especially the ones in earlier grades subjected to, in her words, “meaningless, stressful, education-killing tests.” That was the final blow that allowed the district to terminate her. She advised a small group of concerned and influential parents to opt their children out of the tests. While they could do that, policy interpretation, according to the district, forbade her from speaking about that to the parents.

Eric had met with Mariela Oprimida on several occasions and read extensively about current educational practices and those who dissented with such, as Mariela had. One morning, she had called and asked if she could come in and speak with Eric about a new development. …

“What is that? I wasn’t notified of anything.” Eric set his glass down.

“Yes, I know. I was served a summons early this morning. I have been charged with misdemeanor child endangerment.” Mariela’s voice quavered and her eyes glistened.

Eric stood quickly, grabbed a box of tissues, and set them on the occasional table between them. “What basis did they give? I’m assuming it originated from a school district complaint.”

Mariela took a few drinks of water and settled herself. “It reads that I advised parents to take a course of action that was academically detrimental to their child. It specifically mentions the Infant to Toddler Educational Preparedness Initiative. I know when it happened. I told a colleague on the day I was leaving that I would not submit my child to the education system as it stands now. I said I would not even register a child in the ITEPI program. I never even told them or advised them not to, not directly at least.”

“Okay, this is not so serious. They are just taking potshots at you. I am fairly certain the basis of their original charges against you will not be upheld by a judge. The whole implementation of the state and federal curriculum guidelines has been left open to a wide range of interpretations, and even though they have tried to tighten things up, in Missouri they have relied on ultra conservative actions by individuals. No one has challenged the philosophy in the court before you came along.”

“Eric, based on what you have shared with me along the way, I think you are right. The problem is I think they know that, too, so they have come up with something that will stand up to scrutiny. What I fear is that they will try to get statements from others with whom I have spoken because this can be, under certain circumstances, a felony offense.”

“Mariela, I have seen the ITEPI legislation. No one has enforced it because everyone pretty much complies. Those who don’t are warned and that’s it.”

​“Eric, this is why I didn’t want your assistant to hear this. I truly don’t trust anyone else. People who I thought I was speaking to as friends who were seeking my professional opinion have betrayed me. I think the authorities are going to try and make an example of me.”
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Eric’s desire to be a voice for the voiceless in the face of legitimatized injustice has become the expression of his Vision, which is his Mission. Let’s see what happens.

I hope you enjoy living the life you create, you make. May that be your focus, and not only the “making a living = making money” model. Again, blessings!

Over the years, I have observed and experienced a lot of life. I’ve seen so many wonderful qualities of people, even when they didn’t know they were displaying them.

While I’ve seen many positive things, I have seen the sorts of situations that cause sorrow, doubt, and loss of faith — along with other negative consequences. Many of these result from longings and desires that are Ego-driven.

Listen, I know we don’t go through the day analyzing each thought; however, we can be aware of the motivation of each because we can set that through decision. We choose Heart; we choose to feel positive emotions; we can and should choose those things we wish to feel each day — at the very least the ones we want to characterize our lives. When things don’t make us feel the way we want, adios to those things. So when we desire anything that makes us feel otherwise, it’s Ego.

In my novel, The Fellowship of the Heart, Paul Egan knows how to manipulate and control others. He and his co-conspirators play games with people’s lives to wield their will on the largest chunk of society they can, far beyond the bounds of their businesses. They lure and groom political candidates and office holders with promises that fulfill Ego desires, which isn’t so hard to do.

Stan Boyle, one of Paul’s engineers, agrees to engage in spying and sabotage — not some deep, murderous CIA-type plot — in order to gain prestige. People like him and the governor of Missouri (in the novel) fall prey to Ego when they haven’t chosen Heart and determined their own life. They become tantalized by Ego desires, always chasing after something bigger and better.

That is exactly how we can distinguish easily between Ego and Heart desires, even if everything else is murky or confusing. People must chase Ego-desires, and once those are obtained, something new must take their place — never a sense of true satisfaction. It’s a game of “catch me if you can.”

Because of that, the desire for more of anything, if it derives from Ego, produces tension, urgency, and grasping after a goal that makes us hectic and full of fear of loss. The objects or goals of an Ego desire for more will always seem, in the final analysis, as if they are running from us. Therefore, if we don’t scheme, manipulate, threaten, plead, become a victim or any of a thousand other responses, we will lose the object of our desire: we won’t get more.

Some people, like Eric thus far in the novel, hear their Heart and determine their own fate. They don’t depend on vague promises of bejeweled facades at some future date. They experience the joy they choose day by day. Those in fellowship with their own Heart do want more of different things, but their want is not an urgent chase after something that is eluding them. Rather, it is knowing their Purpose and Vision and realizing they would be fulfilled with other emotions. They choose how they want to feel.

They may choose to want more intimacy and picture it one way. While we may visualize a specific scenario, that scenario only helps us to feel the emotion we want to feel. That’s why living Heart Purpose and Vision is fun. Heart desires often may not take the physical form we envision, but however it shows up, we should allow it, receive it.

Ultimately, all humans desire to feel certain ways. That is the basis of desire. Ego-desires attach to the things and fret over grabbing hold of something before it gets away. Heart-desires are all around us; they are there waiting to be scooped up. They come to our door, the way Eric Lafarnge has begun to experience life in the novel. This is the law of attraction, the law of the energies, frequencies, vibrations of life. Our emotions provide the energies that attract like energy, that resonate with us, and we get that.

Remember the difference here. I am not saying one way is evil and the other good. I am saying one way is fraught with stress, urgency, and ultimate disappointment. The other is Heart. We get to choose, and many people who have not heard their own Heart are full of love and life and drive, but they are full of all the attendant negative stresses in order to feel those things. The exact same thing, situation, money, relationship, or anything can be desired by one operating by Ego and another by Heart. However, the Ego-driven one is exhausted and empty and needs more. The Heart-driven one gives thanks and evaluates the positive emotions and answers the door for more of the same.

Ego-desires have an insidious whisper: “Catch me if you can.” Heart-desires, like expected friends, show up at the door, knock, and say, “Here I am.”

​Blessings in your choices.

Okay, I revised the section of writing I shared a few nights ago. I like it better. I think it leaves more for the reader to imagine and understand. In other words, I spelled it out too much before.

​Maybe I still did, but I have been thinking about the underlying rationale for this dialogue, that I wrote about this morning: People always want more. It boils down to intention: what kind of more do they want — Ego-more or Heart-more? I’m leaving it here for tonight with the revised passage. (It’s not as long as it looks — all dialogue and reads fast.)
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“Stan, what is Anne doing with them? I’m concerned about that goddam alternative materials shit.” Paul stepped back from the window but still stared. “I told you to keep this under control.”

​“I have, Paul. You know everything I do, including how much company time they have spent on it. There is no way I could have inserted myself more without arousing their suspicion.”

“Well, it looks like their suspicions are aroused anyway.”

Stan sat down in a nearby chair, and he watched Paul’s intense interest at the little group outside. “Paul, how do you know they are doing anything like that? Why are you so uptight about the three of them having coffee during break?”

“Just intuition, Stan. It wouldn’t hurt you to tune into yours.”

Stan frowned. “Okay, Paul, I get that, but why are you so opposed to their work? From an engineering and profit standpoint, it’s brilliant. Not to mention if we pioneer this, our engineering environmental impact studies would be smooth sailing.” Stan paused and tapped his fingers on the arm of his chair.
“Look, I told you I’m committed to success, so why don’t you just tell me what’s going on?”

Paul turned and stared at Stan. “I told you there’s a much bigger picture. I have chosen you to help us make it happen.”

Stan interrupted Paul. “Us? Who’s ‘us?’”

Paul glared. “Short memory. The other day I let two names slip. Do you remember?”

“Of course I do. It was enough for me to do a little research and find out you were talking about Jack Actov and Peter Colboard. You mentioned them in relation to Anne’s husband, Eric. They founded the law firm he works for.”

Paul smiled without disengaging Stan’s face. “You know what, Stan? You’re right. So I will be blunt. Others besides us are involved in our project, and it’s been going on for some years. You’re a part of it now, like it or not — and you may not.” He smiled a bit broader. “How do you think Etts got into office? How do you think he will garner the nomination of his party for the next presidential election? Do you think we would leave the governor’s office out of our control?”

Stan’s mouth hung partially open, and he was processing Paul’s words when he realized he had been asked a question. “Oh, no, if you’ve been engineering all this, of course not.” He broke away from Paul’s stare.

“Good. You understand. You also understand that you have no confidants. You have none to speak with about this. You will do what I ask if you want your success. And,” Paul renewed his smile, “you will never demand information of me again. Do you understand?”

Stan nodded.

“We have been grooming both Eric and Anne for this for some time now.”
Stan sat up a bit. “Okay, I understand more now, but what does the alternative materials design have to do with any of this?”

“Good. I’m glad you’re putting things together. The unions, contractors, and manufacturers of standard design products and procedures comprise a significant portion of our power base — big money and connections. We will not be using any non-standard anything.”

Stan smiled now. “I get it. You know, Paul, it’s easy to be superior when you have more information than others. I told you I’m no idiot. I’m being used expressly for this, aren’t I?”

“Right on both counts, Stan. You’re no idiot and you have been and are being used. Since you are no idiot, you will know you have a job to do.” Paul paused for a second and watched Stan’s expression.

“Hey, Stan, all the things I have arranged for you will happen. We aren’t pulling off some CIA plot here. We’re only making sure things go smoothly for everyone.”

“Yeah, I understand, Mr. Egan. Power, control, and wealth. Absolutely no misunderstanding. Nothing I haven’t desired and contracted for.”

“Well, Stan, if you keep even closer tabs, and a stricter leash on those two junior engineers, a bonus clause kicks in for you. Make sure you sabotage their numbers one way or another. Make sure you do what you can to cool their enthusiasm.”

“What’s the bonus clause, Paul?”

“You become our legal liaison with both the Etts and the Lafarnges. Forget engineering in the bridge sense. You’ll get to use that law degree of yours to engineer a lot more complex structures.”

“It’s pretty simple, straightforward. I can do this, Paul, but I have a question. Why can’t you simply order Anne to forget this alternative stuff?”

Paul frowned. “I thought you understood. She cannot know, suspect, sense one single iota of any of this. It all falls apart. You see, you were right about another thing. I do know more than you, have more information than you do. Anne’s husband is a bit more of an idealist than she is, and he would run. They have to be mentored, courted. No coercion or anything else that would set off alarms. They have to believe they want it for themselves.”

Stan smiled. “See, Paul, was that so hard to let me know what really needed to be done?”

Paul Egan flashed a malicious grin his way. “You still don’t know everything, Stan. If you need anything from me, ask. No one else. Understood? It would not be a positive move if one other person knows anything you know.”

​Stan’s smile faded. He walked back to the window and looked down. Anne, Kathryn, and Edward were gone. “I have work to do, Paul.”

“So do I, Stan. I don’t plan on hearing anything else about this alternative material scheme.”

​After Stan left, Paul accessed his Holocom wrist unit. “Everything is under control here, Jack. They always want more and will do almost anything to get it.”
__________________________________________________
Blessings!

Picture sitting on a pristine beach facing the west, scanning the line of horizon where it appears the sun is sliding into the ocean as the sky blurs into tints of azure, pink, and orange through the thinnest veil of cirrus clouds, and you know two things: in a matter of a couple minutes, the sky will fade to an ashen gray, and along with that, the possibilities and dreams of what lies beyond the horizon that evening will have faded, too. You just can’t see it any longer. Though blinded for the night, tomorrow is a new day.

The next morning, the sun shines out from the east behind you across the undulating aquamarine depths. It comes to you, and you know. You know a magnificent island resort lies out there over the horizon. You know what you want to do. Make the call, reserve the island for an indefinite length of time, charter a boat. But wait, you have to pack. What will you take? Who should you call and notify? Oh, maybe you should give your notice at the job and wait for two weeks. Yeah, it will be there then. But you can’t. How will you make it? Will anyone go with you? What about…? Forget it. It’s impossible.

Whether we are blinded to the possibilities or bound by impossibilities, Ego has done its job: to blind and bind in order to protect us from perceived danger and societal rejection by isolating us enough to keep us sitting on that beach, a beach where we dream, maybe plan, but ultimately never act except to continue in a longing existence, not upsetting the status quo.

Fortunately, Heart has no intention of leaving us to wallow. Do you know how I know? People keep looking at that sunset, making those plans. Ego holds us back. Heart, though, says all possibilities exist and no impossibilities are real — only self-imposed. We have to enter into that positive relationship with Heart to put everything in perspective and bypass the Ego operating system and its pervasive circuitry in our mind-soul-body complex.

Heart shows us the possibilities, opens those eyes of our mind and soul, and creates a course of action with us that takes us to Purpose of significance, enjoyment, and fulfillment.
Why bring this up tonight? I’m continuing to work on my chapter of informal conspiracy in The Fellowship of the Heart. In some ways, if you ever read the novel, I hope you suspend your knowledge of what I write here in order to sense if I hit my mark or not. What’s that?

People in the book like Paul Egan, Jack Actov, and Peter Colboard are those who understand Heart and Ego. They have closed themselves to Heart, indulged in Ego, and know how to manipulate that dynamic in others to control what they feel needs to be controlled for their own designs — not too much here.

I need to write more before I share it — maybe tomorrow. As I wrote this morning, an encounter I had with a woman yesterday made me think on another level about this. When she asked me what I write about, I told her spiritual awakening that concerns answering the two big questions: Who am I? What is my Purpose?

She is a professional woman, engaged in helpful, outwardly meaningful work, but her response to me caught me off guard. “I wish I could answer those for myself.” What?! At the point she said that, I just had a plastic coated lead plate jammed in my mouth for an x-ray. It did make me pissed at myself a bit because I have neither finished my ebook nor do I even have a business/info card with my blog and social media info on it.

That, however, was immaterial to the lady who believed the lie her with which her Ego had thoroughly permeated her being: it’s impossible to know who you are and to create your own purpose, your own fate. Her brief statement was breathed in a sigh of two seconds.

The sun will shine tomorrow morning. The horizon of hope, possibilities, and realities are limitless, and nothing can hold us back.

​Blessings!

Tonight, I’m going to share the next scene from my novel, The Fellowship of the Heart. It is related to the sort of ideas I’ve been considering here, especially informal conspiracies that engineer the way major decisions, both political and business, are made.

My hope is my novel, beyond presenting the social, political, and economic manipulation and duplicity of egotistical oligarchs, captures the natural simplicity and value of consciously saying yes to Heart, awakening to self.

Here is the further development of suspicions, friendships, and a very powerful conspiracy.
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The next morning, Anne arrived at Paragon with a different energy. She called Kathryn and Edward to her office after she spent some time looking through some of their work. She also daydreamed a bit about her time with Eric the night before. Then, just a flash of a thought. Don’t speak here.

Anne looked around, feeling an intuitive alert. When Kathryn and Edward arrived, she asked them if they would like to meet in the courtyard to consult over coffee.

Edward had his latte first, so he went ahead and claimed a table before the morning break people took over. Some other employees had filed out into the courtyard on the warm, sunny day. Their wire mesh table and chairs were shaded by a large oak tree. He stood until the ladies arrived and seated themselves.

Kathryn smiled. “What a gentleman! Thank you, Ed!”

“You’re welcome, Kathryn.” As he seated himself, he looked at Anne. “What can we do for you, Ms. Lafarnge?”

Anne smiled. “Ed, we have worked on this project for months. You still can’t bring yourself to call me Anne?”

He had to squint as some errant sunlight focused on his face through the leaves of the tree. “Okay, Anne. Why did you want to see us? Have we overlooked something?”

“No, absolutely not. In fact, quite the opposite. I wanted to tell you I have looked over all of the plans, and your work is amazing. Before I spoke to anyone else, I want you to know that I am going to recommend we pursue, really pioneer, using the alternative materials proposals. I will let the other associates know you both are responsible for this.”

Kathryn’s eyes widened. “Are you sure, Anne? Have you double-checked our work? We were so close to it that we need an independent evaluation.”

“I finished looking over things this morning. No doubts. It’s solid. Is this okay with you.”
Edward smiled, which made both of them smile, too. “Anne, this is so exciting. I feel like it’s the first time in five years anyone even knows I’m working here. Kathryn and I feel like this has been the first time we have had an opportunity to act in a full professional capacity. But it’s because of you, the way you encouraged us.”

Kathryn nodded. “Absolutely, Anne. I couldn’t agree more. Your leadership has been phenomenal.”

“Thank you both, but you did the professional part, the nitty gritty engineering. I want you to have the recognition, but I wanted to ask you first. I’m not sure what it may mean for you professionally.”

Kathryn sipped her cappuccino before she spoke. “Anne, this may seem like an odd question, but was there any reason you wanted us to meet out here.”

“Funny you should ask, Kathy. It was just a flash of a thought, but I felt like, well, I don’t know what I felt. It was just a few words: Don’t speak here. So I felt better just leaving my office. And it is odd you would ask. Why did you?”

Kathryn looked much more collected than her tone and words. “Well, I felt something this morning, too, and I think it’s because Stan Boyle asked me if I had kept track of time on the development of the alternative design project.”

“What did you tell him?”

“I told him Ed and I had done a lot of the work on our own time, so I couldn’t be sure.”

“How did he react?”

“Very matter-of-factly, like it was just a common question. Did I say anything wrong?”

“No, Kathy, you didn’t, but it puzzles me that Stan would be asking you about that considering we are ahead of schedule anyway. but why did you ask about meeting out here?”

“Don’t even try to look because we will be noticed, but Stan and Mr. Egan have been watching us from Mr. Egan’s office ever since we sat down.”
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“Stan, what is Anne doing with them? I’m concerned about that goddam alternative materials shit.”

“Paul, I’m not sure. I’ve had her office bugged for a week since we found out how advanced their plans are.”

Paul stepped back from the window but still stared. “Stan, I told you to keep this under control.”

“I have, Paul. You know everything I do, including how much company time they have spent on it.

There is no way I could have inserted myself more without arousing their suspicion.”

“Well, it looks like their suspicions are aroused anyway.”

​Stan sat down in a nearby chair, and he watched Paul’s intense interest at the little group outside. “Paul, how do you know they are doing anything like that? Why are you so uptight about the three of them having coffee during break?”
“Just intuition, Stan. It wouldn’t hurt you to tune in to yours.”
Stan frowned. “Okay, Paul, I get that, but why are you so opposed to their work? From an engineering and profit standpoint, it’s brilliant. Not to mention if we pioneer this, our engineering environmental impact studies would be smooth sailing.”
“Stan, I’m going on my intuition here and letting you in on a deeper secret, one that I hope will help you wise up.”
Stan continued to frown. “Look, Paul, maybe I’m not your guy. Yes, I want to move up, but you are sounding obsessed with this. I mean, you’re actually spying on one of your senior associates, someone who in all reality is a better engineer than I am. What gives with all this cloak and dagger act? Are you sure you want me working this? I know what your hopes are, but do you really believe you can engineer political elections?”
“Too bad, Stan. Now, you have no option. You understand a little too much. I know you are smart, but you ask too many questions. You are our ‘guy’ as you put it.”
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Please remember this is a first draft! Also, remember such scenarios are neither far-fetched nor unrealistic. Horrible things have happened in the modern world because of willful ignorance.
Not everyone’s Heart works with them to respond to exposing problem people, the really big problem people who consciously and purposefully shut down their conscience, forge an Ego persona, and then believe their own lies about how what they are doing is in some way a noble, higher purpose. I will get to that in my novel.
Until then, I hope this insight into my thoughts and the raw development of those inspire some and lead others to discover the depths of the positive possibilities we as humans possess. Awakening to Heart is the single best response to the egotistical oligarchs I write about and the ones displayed on the daily news every day recently.
Know yourself, your core Self, your Heart, and live in the Purpose you create. Then, join with those drawn to you in the fellowship of the Heart and shine your Heart-light together, physically bringing the Love and Light of eternal Spirit to this world.
Hearts know things, and things are changing!
Blessings!