How do we feel about this last year? When we evaluate it, what criteria do we use?
I know those have changed for me through the years, but this year I’ve decided I will be unrealistic. Does everything go the way I think it should? Obviously, not. But does it have to for me to experience positive emotions? No, it doesn’t, and this has been in many ways an amazing year, a wonderful year. Why? Because I have never written this much in my life, never experienced a steady progress, a consistent work ethic in writing, like this. I love it. Are there other things I would like? Absolutely, but anything that interacts with others creating their own lives is something I cannot control, so why evaluate those things? It’s not like I can’t make adjustments for myself if I need to. It’s not like life is urgent for me anymore. I don’t want it to be, nor do I need it to be for my happiness. In truth, we are all creating all the time, and that’s all I’m concerned about right now: creating scenarios that will allow me to feel the way I want to feel. I want to discover, which means I want adventure, exploration, study, work, and communicating. When I create, I’m trying to do so consciously, purposefully, and joyfully. Do you know that we are all creating every day, summoning life energies based on the vibes we emit? If you think you don’t emit vibrational energies that communicate to the Universe, you probably have never had a dog. It’s damn hard to hide your very intentions from a dog, at least my dogs. But this is not my point here. My point is that we do create our circumstances. We create ourselves. Because we emit energy, we draw energies, too. We have one of two mechanisms, for lack of a better word right now, that we use: Ego or Heart. Ego is our default system. If we look at life and desired change and it didn’t come, we probably aren’t very self-aware. It also means we have been creating with Ego. Ego keeps the status quo, maintains conformity as much as possible. If we engage in self-destructive behavior, Ego kicks in to isolate us. If we are smart but unenlightened spiritually, Ego will create to help us live large, being admirable to many but relatively empty and unfulfilled in our own soul. If those things, and a vast middle ground in between, characterize us, we probably haven’t really awakened to core Self, Heart, that wonderful, full dollop of eternal Spirit. When we become aware we have this, we can face ourselves in a mirror and speak directly to Heart. We listen and learn to hear that voice. And we find we can create consciously. We discover that we can feel the way we want to feel — characterized by our choice of abundance, significance, love, purpose, everything and anything — and that we can envision and create those things. I have learned, ever so slowly, that it’s far easier and more effective and efficient to manipulate emotions over form. I said last night that if we insist on manipulating form first, that’s Ego seeking to create. Heart is our direct tie to the riches and fulness of the Universe to create those situations in which we can be emotionally prosperous. Life is stacked in our favor, and I love that feeling. Therefore, this year I will create through emotions and evaluate based on how I feel. If it feels good based on fellowship with my Heart, I will do it. If not, I won’t. If others don’t like that or think that’s wise, er, well, not my concern. So, tonight and early tomorrow morning, I will take stock. How do I feel about what I’ve done, where I am, and how do I want to feel this coming year? Yes, I will attach form to it in the sense that I need a plan to do something, but as I summon life energies through my emotions, those forms may and probably will change. I will live in each moment and guide my mind and soul through my personal Heart-truth. I will create, and do so powerfully. I know that I have the ability to summon form through my emotional intent. Faith can move mountains, make me look different, cause physical systems to shift, and much more. If anyone thinks that is some kind of forbidden magic, remember who said that we would do greater miracles than him! And my wish for you is that you will do the same: create your life the way you want through discovery of Heart and living that core Self. Blessings and Happy New Year, my friends!
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What are the good feelings I want to experience this year? My question for the new year! What is yours? I may not get to know yours, but I hope it’s a good one.
In fact, I hope if anyone hasn’t answered that most basic question about who they really are as core Self that they would be seeking that, followed quickly by creating what they want to do here. And to me, Purpose is best based on what is it that makes one feel good, that makes one excited, that presents the possibility to feel significant and live passionately. I worked with teenagers for too long to know that someone might think that doing nothing feels good, drinking a beer every hour all day, eating oneself into oblivion, or any of thousands of spurious type ideas could feel good, ones that maybe occasionally would be pretty sweet. However, I’m talking about the thing that someone knows they would be proud of and knows that every day doing that would be a joy and show love and reveal who that core Self is. If any of those things that just make the body feel good for a short time reveal who the core Self is, who that piece of eternal Spirit dwelling in us is, then go for it. I’m pretty sure those superficial things won’t, though. I will say I love to drink beer, sip fine single malt, eat gourmet foods, hell, comfort foods for that matter — all of those can be enjoyed, can’t they? Can they, however, give life fulfillment? See, I want to do things that show who core Self is and that are meaningful and satisfying on a mind and soul level, things that I know come from my Heart because I spend time speaking to and listening to my Heart. Every day I ask and receive from my Heart. If I didn’t, I couldn’t write this. So, how do I know what feels good from the Heart? Because if I don’t do whatever it is, I am not a happy camper; in fact, I feel like I’m letting myself down — and absolutely and only myself. I have learned over the years that whatever anyone else’s expectations, approvals, disapprovals, or adulations are, they should hold NO sway over what my heart tells me — NONE. Any caving to others is the work of Ego. Therefore, this New Year’s planning, I know what I have to do. While I don’t wish it on anyone, I do know the reality of one other measure of knowing Purpose, and that involves being willing to do whatever it is even if I’m not getting paid for it. I plan on my writing paying sometime, but I am not there yet. I will write, working on several projects this coming year. I am planning on having two books published and marketed. I have another in the works, too. However, I have no idea what detours may occur. I only know that if it feels right in revealing me and if I crave it as part of my Purpose, I’m doing it. My Heart will always let me know. But that requires quietness, patience, and willingness to choose Heart over Ego as that primary operating system. I knew a boy who as an eleven year old looked into a mirror and determined with a fire, desire, and drive from his Heart that he would be a writer. I knew the same boy after others, including parents and teachers, lightly passed off the passion of that boy, and he looked in the mirror and thought he couldn’t do it if adults didn’t believe it could happen. He listened to his Ego and played ball and pursued girls and tried one thing and another in terms of education. None of it meant too much. I knew the man that boy became and allowed that same Ego to tear down his confidence further when college professors told him he wrote awkwardly. I knew him as he became convinced by that Ego he should sacrifice self to make others’ lives more meaningful and valuable, so he got jobs and worked hard and excelled in various fields. None of it meant too much. I knew the man who looked into a mirror and had no idea what had become of the little boy who wanted to write. He was a man almost everyone liked, but he didn’t know who that was. I knew that man as he heeded the whispers of Heart inside and went back to college and determined he was doing what he was supposed to be doing, even though others thought he was being foolish. He became a teacher of writing, among other things, and he was very accomplished in that career. However, he still looked in the mirror and was not quite complete, had not really met himself. I know that man who determined he would be the writer the little boy saw in the mirror. I know the man who looked into his own eyes in another mirror and discovered he could hear his Heart, not whispering, but speaking clearly, speaking with meaning. I know the man who listened to his Heart confirming that he is indeed a writer. He now follows those promptings, chooses what feels good and right and reveals that Self to whoever cares to look, to see, but he is not moved by that, even though he freely loves. I have allowed you to look into my mirror and hear part of my Heart and will continue to do so in this coming year. Blessings! This morning as I thought about the approaching new year, I remembered some times when I know my Heart reached out to me.
Now, it may seem like a funny thing since we come equipped with that Heart-Spirit component, but we need to consciously recognize it for a fully functioning, wonderful, fulfilling life relationship. I know because as I thought of my past — part of my evaluation at year’s end — I sensed the touches of Heart many times, without ever coming to that point of awakening, of a fuller recognition. Heart especially operated in me by just bugging the shit out of me concerning doing jobs or being in relationships that forced me to be so contrary to my core Self, even though I had not face to face, as it were, met core Self. I would become so totally miserable that I just had to quit, with the only rationale being I knew that whatever “it” was, it ate away at my inner being. Quit. However, since I had not come to a full knowledge of my core Self, I — using this same mind I am using right now but under the operating system of Ego — justified new courses of action not based on who I am but rather with some altruistic perception that I would do something based on how it would help others and make them happy or better or safer or … . See, Ego made this all sound very noble, but it kept me “safe” from knowing core Self that might launch me into a life which those others would not approve of. My Ego self and Ego-influenced mind and soul feared loss of relationship and sense of purpose, a purpose based not on who I am, a purpose based on what others needed. That is NOT Heart knowledge, Heart wisdom, Heart living. On the other hand, neither is doing things just to piss people off, to throw my life in their faces. Coming to live and know Heart as core Self means that I will automatically relate to and benefit this whole Universe by expressing Spirit-in-me as my core Self. If the world didn’t need who I am, I wouldn’t be here. If I didn’t need the experience of the world and interaction with others as they are, then I wouldn’t be here. Since I am here and since I know core Self, I live this adventure in joy and vitality. I want to feel joy, feel alive, feel honesty and peace and love and significance and fun and contentment. However, as I face this new year, that last emotion has become a focus for me. Not because I’m not content, but rather because it presents something that Ego, still with me and part of me, can really use. How? Contentment, like a settled peace, is good, but Heart says use that as a base while forging ahead into new spheres to keep replenishing that — no resting, no stopping for accolades or just desserts, just enjoying them in the moment. Why? We are here to thrive, and this old literature teacher rarely gets far away from his roots. Tennyson’s “Ulysses” remains one of my favorite poems, a poem that reveals Tennyson’s Heart works. When Ulysses, Odysseus in the Greek, returns from his twenty years away from his home of Ithaca after war and a horrible ten-year return trip, one would think he should just enjoy the fruits of his labors and fame and all he had done for his land. But no, Tennyson reveals the operations of a human responding to Heart, not Ego. After three years of chilling, Ulysses knew he wasn’t living true to who he was. So, he makes a Heart decision. He was an adventurer and had to live that: “How dull it is to pause, to make an end, / To rust unburnished, not to shine in use! / As though to breathe were life!” In other words, he had settled into contentment to the exclusion of living his Heart. He further says, “I cannot rest from travel//…and vile it were / For some three suns to store and hoard myself, // …Come, my friends, / ’Tis not too late to seek a newer world…” He lets others, like his son, live to their own Heart or Ego, but he knows what he must do: enter into new adventures to live Self. As I approach the New Year, I know I am content with what I have done this past year, but I must do new things and have new satisfaction, other contentment. What newer worlds await me this year? I will visualize my Purpose, Vision, Mission, and Goals. I may tweak my mission statement; I will record goals and to-do lists and head towards some specific new lands, but I may end up somewhere not on that map. I will, however, be living my Heart as I keep moving forward. Blessings! The last few nights I’ve written about the power of emotions to help us manifest almost anything we visualize. If we focus on emotions, many times the “things” we end up with may not be those which we anticipated. Emotions win out over things every time.
Why? Pretty simple, really, from a psychological perspective. We want things because they make us feel a certain way. We want some sort of emotional satisfaction from them — really, from life in general. When we approach a new year, we are often filled with hope of things being better. A bit of irony exists in that, though, because many people are dead set opposed to change. This cuts off any possibility of emotional fulfillment. Hope unequivocally mean things will change; life changes if hope is fulfilled. However, if we want things to change — easy, peasy. In terms of making life better, different, and living hopes, dreams, and passions, we really only need a few things. (By the way, the ideas I’m sharing here aren’t some formula, only some possible means to the end of feeling good.) We need to have a very clear mental picture of where we want to be, but more importantly, we need a clear sense of how that picture makes us feel. Emotions drive the whole manifestation. Oftentimes, the picture, the “thing,” will change, but it will always change to produce those feelings we desire. We attract those energies that will manifest form. Yes, I basically said this last night, but I wanted to reinforce it because of the coming new year. It should be a time of evaluation and hope. I evaluate what I have done in the past year and how I feel about that. I consider if I’m feeling good, rotten, up, down. I look back over the past year’s work and decide if I will hold the same course, what adjustments need to be made, what aspects of my mission may need to be amended or deleted. It’s fluid — but that fluidity is based on how it is all feeling and what those emotions have attracted, manifested, or what they haven’t. When fails occur, Ego is involved. I know I said easy-peasy, and it is when we stay in fellowship with our Heart. But we are a complete package that includes Ego and in a world where most people process life through Ego. That, my friends, presents challenges, and it should. It’s part of the joy of maturing and working through issues. It’s part of living, and we should be aware of it and value it: our relationship to Self and that Self to the Other. So, ultimately, I don’t have a formula, only suggestions because part of my vision and mission is to help you discover some things about Self. I can’t hope to write anything really new about these issues. Much has been done. But maybe, just maybe, my desire to fulfill my purpose, to live significantly to Self, might help you think about these things for just a few seconds longer, long enough for you to sort through ideas that can help you create very clear pictures of the emotions you want to feel. The more specific we are, the more we grow, the happier we are. It should all be fun and positive. The ending of a wonderful Washington Irving story, “Old Christmas,” deals with this hope for his readers: “…if I can…make my reader more in good humor with his fellow-beings and himself, surely, surely, I shall not then have written entirely in vain.” Not a bad goal for any of us living core Self — create some joy and good vibes with others. Therefore, I leave it with you and wish you the blessings of those emotions you wish to feel, those which will enrich you. You know what I have found to be a problem in my own life and in the lives of many? No, of course you don’t. And I am sharing my observations because they may simply help give you insight into and discovery of yourself.
My focus this evening is emotion. Many people claim they can’t control how they feel, as if their emotions, like some external force, sweep over them as friend or foe. No, they arise from us, they are created and conjured by us, and they are part of the total package of us — no less than thoughts. Most of life that we do is deep down an attempt to feel good, to experience a variety of positive emotions. In fact, current educational philosophy has done a fair amount of harm in regards to that. Thoughts, thinking, production, and associated emphases — upon which are based curriculum and programs — should not be the primary goal of education. I’ve said it before, and I will say it here: education is an emotional proposition. Anyone associated with that profession who doesn’t believe and practice that would do well to reconsider at the least, quit at the best. The movies, songs, art, science, leaders, and other elements and aspects of life that affect us are those that make space for us to feel with them. They open the door that we may enter into their expressions of Self and allow us to choose to connect with them. Yes, cognitive logical thought is there, but that alone will not move people to connections and actions, not any that will be sustained. We choose to respond to information, logic with emotions or not. Since this life is one of energy, emotional resonance comprises a large part of the quality of our lives — how happy or unhappy we are. The logic doesn’t do that; emotions, our chosen emotions, determine the significance and satisfaction we experience. No, emotions do not sweep over us as some external force. The reason it often feels like that depends on what part of Self we allow to program our mind-soul-body complex: Ego or Heart. As I said last night, Ego insists on form and therefore our emotions are dependent on whether we get certain material forms of one sort or another. When we don’t, Ego has programmed anger, disgust, sorrow, or you name it. Of course, Ego-programming can work out well. Then, we feel happy and content — for a little while. External forms usually are not totally dependent on us, though, and when we have to keep seeking those, we will be unhappy. However, Heart, that part of eternal Spirit present in us, provides us the ability to choose and use emotions to create our Purpose and inspire our Vision. It’s all about choosing what feels good. I will leave this for tonight, and wish you blessings of feeling good. What do you want? How do you want to feel? Get specific. Picture a scenario in your mind that allows you to feel like that. Stay focused on engaging in actions that yield your visualizations. Remember, the visualization and the chosen emotions are yours. Revel in them and relish them and just keep attracting more of the same. Blessings! |
Questions to consider:How many times have you asked yourself or simply thought about the following questions?
Who am I, really? What is my truth? How do my actions reveal what I really feel and believe? What would I do with my life if I could do anything? What is my passion? Why am I here? How can I discover answers to any of these questions? If you have considered any of these questions, I hope that my experiences and writing will give you some guidance. Please read my blog and comment and share your thoughts. I would love to hear from you! Archives
December 2019
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