When I wrote about pre-awakening jolts from Heart, I thought about my years as a teacher. That was a jolt I paid attention to.
I knew for those years my heart wanted me to teach, even though I felt something more in me, something waiting to emerge into the light of day from somewhere deep within me. That was my Heart, too, and I knew I had to write. When I came to the fullness of that epiphany, immediate peace flooded my soul while tears flooded my eyes. I rejected Ego and consciously chose Heart. I knew it.
I did not care at that point if I was any good or not, if I was credentialed, credible, or even capable. I knew I had to write, so I did.
My teaching years, though, were filled with joy. I studied the science and art of education. I practiced it. I excelled.
I have thought about this over the last few days, because a former student, one who I had seven years ago, posted a picture on my Facebook wall. He bought a decorated sheet cake with a blank message space. On it, he wrote in tube icing, “sorry i was late to your class everyday”. Color me amazed he would even remember me, let alone buy a cake and write on it. I relate this because many of my former students have let me know I made a difference in their lives. They made a much larger difference in mine.
What sort? I learned from them I can be myself and be accepted for that. I didn’t purposefully hide things from them; they wouldn’t let me. Young people see through everything. When adults aren’t honest with them, they learn to use Ego to act in kind, to hide who they really are, to not make known true Self. If an adult is in education and approaches students with anything less than emotional transparency, they need to quit. The first rule in education should be the same as in medicine: do no harm.
Students also let me know I could be passionate about things they weren’t into, but it helped them to appreciate others, especially when we dealt with literature. Students love humor, yes, even my brand of it. They don’t like sarcasm, though; they are unforgiving about that, and what a great lesson that is. Sarcasm may be funny on sitcoms, but it hurts people in real life. I did not use it in the classroom.
My kids also knew when things weren’t right. They had me pegged. A number of times, they would come in noisy, as usual, and I wasn’t aware or sensitive to what was going on because I would be upset about something. I would take it out on them, telling them things like we were there to learn, not play, wah, wah, wah! I’m not kidding, certain ones, usually the more sensitive, would look at me and through their laughter ask, “Are you trying to be angry?” I would always laugh. Then, you know what they would do? They would ask me what was wrong. I never passed it off or lied to them. They damn well knew it.
And I have wandered far from where I intended to be, so let me see if I can call class to order here. Ladies and Gentlemen, I want to communicate to you what I did to my students. I was not fully awakened to my own Heart and the depths of eternal power, spirit, and energy therein, but I sure knew we all had endless abilities and possibilities. I shared those concepts with them, and now, awakened, I share them with whoever reads this tonight.
However, tonight I want to focus for the last few lines on the concept I touched on in Morning Pages: limits and limitations. Former students have told me one thing they knew about me for sure was I believed in them. I did, and I believe in each of us. Others, whether through school district educational policy and curriculum or through society at large, would create limits for us. You need this degree or that amount of wealth or you are not prepared or any of thousands upon thousands of limits.
Limitations, though, are not set by the Other. Limitations are determined by our own Ego acceptance of that bullshit others set as limits. These internal, Ego-generated limitations quash core Self, say you can’t possibly express who you are. As we grow up and hear such shit as “Be realistic. It’s for your own good. Your test shows you would be a good…,” we decide those love prods of Heart, things like intuition, resonance, dreams, and many others, are wild and socially unacceptable. We establish limitations on the eternal nature of our souls; we say we can’t express the fullness of life energy that is our Heart, our core Self.
How do I banish limitations? 1. Consciously ask Heart to show me, reveal to me, who I really am and what would be the best way to express Self. 2. Ignore limits set by others. Now, if it’s their game and their game says I can’t be the expression of Me I need to be, I quite playing and create my own game. Sometimes, though, I know I can do a job or perform a task, even though I don’t fall within the limiting boundaries, so I can apply for that job or volunteer for that position anyway. 3. Affirm to myself, believe it, accept it, that I have no limitations. None. I am an eternal, immortal essence and expression of life energy and of Spirit. Heart won’t lead us to anything that doesn’t express core Self; Ego will.
Much more here than I had thought, but guess what will be a factor in The Fellowship of the Heart in Anne’s awakening. There you go — limits of others accepted as limitations by self. What a yucky, sucky, f***y way to live. Please don’t.
Just for tonight, be one of my students and believe in yourself, because I believe in You. And I damn well know your Heart speaks to you, so listen.
Questions to consider:
How many times have you asked yourself or simply thought about the following questions?
Who am I, really?
What is my truth?
How do my actions reveal what I really feel and believe?
What would I do with my life if I could do anything?
What is my passion?
Why am I here?
How can I discover answers to any of these questions?
If you have considered any of these questions, I hope that my experiences and writing will give you some guidance. Please read my blog and comment and share your thoughts. I would love to hear from you!