As I have begun thinking about my novel again, I consider characters’ words and the intents and motivations behind them. By association, this makes me thinks about the value of words.
Some people say words are cheap or meaningless. They can be, but they can be powerful and life-changing, too. Those intents, the motive force behind them make all the difference. The morphemes, syllables, words, sentences may all sound the same, but what backs them up? Sincerity? Honesty? Love? Self-gratification? Malice? Duplicity?
Furthermore, what are the implications of the words? Whenever anyone speaks, they usually know what the end of those words are. Kind of reminds me of some of the hearings for senate confirmations of cabinet members or supreme court justices here in America. Sometimes, the nominees will answer with good sounding phrases or jargon, but the senators who interview the nominees are, at times, astute enough to follow up, trying to grab hold of the implications. That’s when insincerity or misdirection can be discovered.
These thoughts came from my own Heart today when it challenged me about some of my own words, words that I meant when I spoke them but Ego played on them. So often, we speak words with good intentions, but when we allow Ego to be our operating system, the words get twisted and taken in a different direction. The good intentions are lost. So, that is what happened for a few days with me. I said, spoke the words, that I would pick up rewriting my novel after my ebook was finished. I didn’t do that, but rather sat exhausted. Ego convinced me I was exhausted. How?
I’ve said before that Hearts shoot straight, and today I was called out on something I’ve done for years. I have always justified this — through Ego as I discovered today — as being part of my composition: I rationalize that I invest myself so intensely in anything I do that when I’m finished, I am spent and need a recovery time. While true to a small extent, it shouldn’t be weeks or months. Heart exposed to me and I discovered when I am delaying, procrastinating, justifying like that, I’m probably working out of Ego motive.
When I accomplish Heart-motivated goals and think about moving on to the next, if it’s Heart-motivated, I should be excited and jump on it. I did that this morning because of these things Heart showed me as we fellowshipped early on. I’m excited about that, encouraged. I worked for a bit on my novel.
Why does Ego interfere by trying to run some energy through the by-passed Ego circuitry? It knows Heart Purpose will take me out of my comfort zones and into areas that require risk of failure. I have through Ego power assiduously avoided failure. No more.
My desire to express core Self, Heart, through my writing and speaking, my created Purpose, has taken me straight back to the novel. Ego would caution me because I have no idea how others will receive or react to my writing. They will be published. Sorry Ego.
I continue to grow, even though I’ve been around a long time. Last year at this time when I was so excited about my novel — deep down I think I knew how underdeveloped it was — I allowed Ego to influence me. Before I started my daily posting, I put out a video about the novel asking for beta readers. When my video got 6,400 views, Ego ate that up — security, safety, comfort zone. Many former students made me feel good about my teaching career. Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful for the response, but Ego used it to slow me down: “See. Maybe you should teach again or maybe just find a simple job, knowing you’ve fulfilled your life purpose by positively affecting so many young people.”
The intensity of my fellowship with my Heart as I have produced daily posts, written the ebook based on those, and begun rewriting the novel has been a time of Self-exploration and discovery, something I really value: growth in being Me and doing what I value. My words in the past year were not fully informed by Heart.
And this is my ultimate point today: My words were sincere, and some of them were powerful. The motive force was Heart, but I had growing to do. When Heart has been involved and words are shared in love, growth and fulfillment will follow. And souls will be blessed.
In my novel, I wish to create characters in words and actions with whom readers my identify. My purpose is to in all simplicity give a touchstone to help others discover Self and awaken to Heart. All people long to have the spiritual questions answered, questions posed by Heart to the soul and mind: Who am I? What is my Purpose here?
Discovering those answers opens the Universe to us, especially our internal one.
Questions to consider:
How many times have you asked yourself or simply thought about the following questions?
Who am I, really?
What is my truth?
How do my actions reveal what I really feel and believe?
What would I do with my life if I could do anything?
What is my passion?
Why am I here?
How can I discover answers to any of these questions?
If you have considered any of these questions, I hope that my experiences and writing will give you some guidance. Please read my blog and comment and share your thoughts. I would love to hear from you!