Facing the dark places and memories in our soul is painful. It is more necessary than painful, though, if we are going to walk in Heart-light, the same Heart-light that illumines those dark selves.
Last night when I shared the new introduction that initiates the dynamic of a shadow self of Eric Lafarnge, I felt a number of emotions, including gratitude and wonder. How could I have written a whole novel and not ever thought of this? It’s like applying a filter to a picture that adds a dramatic, artistic expression.
I mean, really, how does it happen? I think I have the same brain, probably some neurons shorter than when I wrote the book originally. Same biochemicals, neurotransmitters, cell, nerves. Oh, maybe some changes but basic goo is all still the same.
So how do words appear, rearrange, reorganize themselves, and jump down the nerve pathways from my brain to explode out of my fingers either through the keyboard or a pen and set themselves onto the page? Why didn’t it go like this the first time?
Ultimately, readers will decide how dramatic and effective this rewrite is, but I’m loving it. Of course, I think I am expanding my purpose in writing about discovering Self through hearing the voice of the heart. I do it by writing here every day. For 230 days, I have themed these articles around Heart and all the corollaries. I have even termed this concept as the Grand Unified Theory of Humanity. I think it’s that important.
Maybe you don’t, and that’s fine. I just want to help you discover Self, Purpose, peace, love, and fulfillment. Maybe just help you think a little bit. I hope so because doing this helps me think a lot. It’s not like I’m a math professor who knows the immutable formula to get to the correct answer. No. Just thinking aloud. I hope it’s useful.
Useful, too, for facing our own darknesses. We all have them, embodied in those shadow selves I have written of. It hurts to face them. It’s made me weep, occasionally, and that was necessary for me to awaken to and enlighten more of my soul. This helps me to move onward and upward, to learn, be stronger. It helps me to add these parts of myself, now under Heart-light, to the richness of my personality and experience in this physical body on this earth.
Not everyone wants to do such work on self, though. Why? Carl Jung, a whole hell of a lot smarter and insightful than I am, said, “People will do anything, no matter how absurd, to avoid facing their own souls.” I think “absurd” is a curious, complex word choice. Absurd, ridiculous.
Some things we would readily identify as ridiculous. Someone might not be able to get along with others or maybe can’t emotionally handle the responsibility of their job, so they quit and get another job in another place, maybe another city, state, or even country, and they are doing the exact same thing. Can’t leave out the idea here, although the source is disputed: Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
Coming to know our heart and face our soul, to discover who we really are, is part of enlightenment, part of the sane move to know who core Self is and create a purpose for that core Self being here. Look what happens with Eric a few chapters after the intro I shared last night. He faces his own soul.
Obviously. It’s also obvious my outlook is different. I mean really different.
“How? This is important, Eric. How is it different?”
I’m thinking through you, Heart. It’s like a new pathway of energy is running through me.
“Oh, you’ve got it. It is energy. It is all about energy and where that energy is focused. Where did we feel this difference already?”
With Jack, for sure. You told me, I heard you, to let it go. His energy wouldn’t hear what I was going to say, would it?
“That’s right. And what were you going to say?”
I’m not sure about the partnership. I want to work for people, to help them when the deck is stacked against them, when life just doesn’t seem fair because selfish assholes in power rig the system.
“What kind of assholes?”
Eric snapped to a rigid, straight position on the bench. He couldn’t even process the thought before the tears started flowing, actually dripping off of his cheeks, making splattered drops on his pants, a few hitting his tie. I can’t do this here, now.
“Yes, you can and you will. No one to see. No one to interfere; it’s past lunch break. You must face this, Eric. What kind of assholes?”
He put his hands to his eyes. He wretched briefly, one spasm. He resisted breaking down in public view, but he was only partially successful. Silence except for the gentle sobs. Finally, his shoulders shuddered. He bent over, his elbows on his knees now, and his face in his hands. He could not control it. He screamed. And he screamed again. His tears were hot, now.
“Yes, Eric, those kinds of assholes.”
That’s the connection. That’s why I have been plagued by this memory.
“Oh, it’s no plague, Eric. It’s part of you, of us. It’s a little self who had no voice sufficient enough to express truth and to battle the evil of those who willfully refuse their heart. You had to bring this little self to light, because this little self is you. Who are you, Eric, and what is your purpose?”
Oh my God! This has been the key, hasn’t it. I am One who knows how to and will fight for justice, justice against a system of justice that won’t hear the plain voice of truth, of those who don’t know the words or process in the rigged plan. Justice against unjust laws that allow murderers to go free on technicalites or any of a thousand other injustices.
“How do you feel, Eric, Fighter for Justice? What will you do, now?”
I feel cleansed, my Heart. I feel purged. And I know what I’m not going to do, for sure. I’m not pursuing or accepting the partnership. I can’t care for people like Ms. Oprimida when I’m in that position. She doesn’t have enough money; her case would be handled by assistants and the outcome would be inconsequential to Actov and Colboard, wouldn’t it?
Soul work is more important than homework, more important than career work, more important than anything else. Why? Because that is why we are here — to know and love Self so that Self can know and love the world.
Once we do that basic soul work, then everything else takes on a vivid, color-drenched, rainbow enshrouded character, and then everything else is significant.
I wish that for all of us. Peace and love.
Questions to consider:
How many times have you asked yourself or simply thought about the following questions?
Who am I, really?
What is my truth?
How do my actions reveal what I really feel and believe?
What would I do with my life if I could do anything?
What is my passion?
Why am I here?
How can I discover answers to any of these questions?
If you have considered any of these questions, I hope that my experiences and writing will give you some guidance. Please read my blog and comment and share your thoughts. I would love to hear from you!