Last night’s article included the introductory dialog between Anne and Eric Lafarnge. As wife and husband, they appear to be in different places emotionally and spiritually, and in some ways they are. However, both are filtering their world through Ego rather than Heart.
Ego can help create very determined people and help them to accomplish much. It can also sink those same people into despair when things don’t work out. For others, ego makes them retreat, draw back, and get quietly resentful and bitter about life. The good thing about Ego is when things get tough, it exposes, inadvertently, the emptiness.
Heart never insists but always whispers our personal truth. When things get bad, we are most open to hearing those whispers. Responding to them will bring us ever closer to an awakening and a lively fellowship with the heart.
In my Morning Pages this morning I shared something my heart spoke to me. I want anyone who reads this to know I am not saying people who have not heard or do not choose Heart as an operating system are wrong, inferior, dumber, or anything else of that nature. I have over many years, though, seen the sorrow, confusion, emptiness, longing, and lack of focus, purpose, fulfillment — could just go on and on, really — and I know the answer to this is found within oneself. I can’t give you a formula, but I will share the principle of engaging the hOS, Heart Operating System.
I have enthusiastically shared that, and sometimes I wonder if my enthusiasm takes on an air of superiority. I have never intended that. I care deeply for others, as I hope my writing and my many years in educating young people would show, and I want the option of Heart made clear for everyone who reads my work.
You should know this, since I have been sharing my novel, which revolves around this theme of self-awakening. Now in the novel, as well as in life, I feel, some people willfully choose ego over heart in order to grab and maintain control over masses of others. Those folks, I would still love, but I would also tell them I recognize their deceit, manipulation, and control, and that is not good. Still their choice, still loved, but as the saying goes, karma can be a real bitch.
Our best lives are possible when we awaken to core Self, our Heart speaking who that is and what our truth is. We then can determine life Purpose, co-create a vision to live our truth and core Self, and establish a mission of action to make it so. Why all of this? Why is Heart the way of joy, significance, and fulfillment? Because our ultimate purpose here is to relate to others, to life, and all of the Universe in love; it is to feel, experience, know, and show love — to live love. The beauty of it all is love is infinite, and we each have a specific, beautiful facet of love to reflect the light of eternity into this world.
Tonight, I think I will move back to Kathryn Frank and Edward Sampson after they have both met with Anne Lafarnge about joining the Riverview Canyon Bridge project.
When Kathryn emerged from Anne’s office, she went straight to the employee lounge where she knew Edward would be.
She saw him sitting at a table, and motioned for him to come over. A bit disconcerted by her appearance and public summoning, he walked slowly to the opening. He and Kathryn had been the subject of office rumors, and he wanted to avoid any appearance of anything other than a professional relationship.
Kathryn could not even wait until he was into the corridor. “Ed, what did you say? Wait, what did she say? How did you feel about her final offer?”
Edward smiled briefly. “Whoa, Kathryn! It really went well. I will be honest. I felt like she had a little different attitude, not so boss-like. I am not sure if it was her words or her body language or both. She seemed more sincere.”
“Wow, Ed, that’s exactly the way I felt. It seems she really wants us on her team. She even made excuses about why she passed me over on the convention center project. I told her yes.”
“I did, too. I think this will be a positive career step for us, not to mention actually doing the job of a structural engineer. She said she is going to start sharing background briefs with all team members.”
“She told me that, too. She even got a little friendly and asked if any of the office rumors were true about the two of us.”
Edward’s enthusiasm faded quickly. “What? That sounds like she was playing on your emotions to get you on the team.”
“God, Ed, you are so skeptical. People have to jump through hoops to gain your trust. I’m surprised you even talk to me.”
“Kathryn, I’m sorry. I am skeptical. I know that about myself, but I also know that I don’t have great feelings about this place. I am going to keep my word and do the project. If Ms. Lafarnge wins the senior associate position and I am handed my own project to run, then I will see. Until then, I will do my job. It just seems to me mentioning that sort of personal business to you was unprofessional. Were you okay with it?”
Kathryn sighed. “I was okay with Anne. It was vey natural, maybe more like girl talk. But now, well, we have no relationship, even casual, beyond the job. Now, I’m feeling suspicious.”
“Kathryn, I didn’t mean to do that. You have to be yourself. If you felt friendly, you should go with it. I have heard others speak of some of the politicking going on with this associate position up for grabs. At the very least, it’s impressive that Paul Egan is supposedly backing Ms. Lafarnge.”
“I knew that, but how did you find out? That’s usually my domain. I’m the question girl.” Kathryn laughed.
“I just happened to be in the right place at the right time. This kind of stuff makes for a really negative work environment. I hope this project changes that for us, at least.”
I believe that ego causes many problems, because it’s one person trying to maintain dominance in a variety of ways — superiority, inferiority, harassment, and hundreds of other possibilities. And that’s where most of us experience it. We don’t court or contrive to play ego games; it’s just when we don’t choose heart, ego is default.
However, when ego is the motive force of an agency or government affecting the lives of many, the leaders bear distinct responsibility for how the organization functions and any negative fallout involved.
The safeguard for individuals, though, is always the heart. We can know how to respond in any situation based on Heart. We, then, can be the source of positivity, if we stay, or a beacon, if we leave any negative situation.
Yep, the hearts have it!
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Questions to consider:
How many times have you asked yourself or simply thought about the following questions?
Who am I, really?
What is my truth?
How do my actions reveal what I really feel and believe?
What would I do with my life if I could do anything?
What is my passion?
Why am I here?
How can I discover answers to any of these questions?
If you have considered any of these questions, I hope that my experiences and writing will give you some guidance. Please read my blog and comment and share your thoughts. I would love to hear from you!