This morning I wrote about my personal magic. It wasn’t quite accurate because I didn’t discuss and won’t too much personal spiritual practices. Maybe sometime, but it’s not my concern today.
The reality? The effects of my personal magic and/or spiritual practices enlighten me, and I don’t need anyone else to do what I do. However, I know everyone would find answers to their big life questions if they spoke to their own hearts and discovered their own magic.
Today, I woke up just bursting with an epiphany of how to write a chunk of dialog which I had already written and referred to: that is magic to me. Now, I know it may not be to some, but others’ responses are immaterial to me at this point. I learned something about myself as a writer.
So, in this journey I am sharing, here is my revised passage, showing the difference, I hope, between ambition and passion. I was originally going to share the original and then this, but this post would be way too long.
“What are you saying, Eric? You don’t want a partnership? Don’t you realize the power and voice you’d have? Don’t you know or even care about what that would do for us or mean for us? God, you are so selfish!”
“Anne, you don’t get it; I think you are being blinded by this power shit. Please, understand, I want to, I choose to, stay close to the sort of people I got into this for, people who need personal justice against a rigged system, one where everyone covers their asses.”
“Eric, are you really that naive? Of course asses are covered. Otherwise, progress would never be made.”
“Progress for whom, Anne? For Peter Colboard, Jack Actov, Paul Egan, and …” He stopped abruptly.
“And who, Eric, me? And you, if you take the partnership? Is that who? Am I unjust, Eric?”
He sat back in his chair and took a deep, audible breath. He paused a second longer. “Anne, I am accusing some people of injustice. Not you, though; I know you too well. I know for a fact some people have rigged the legal system through legislative process. Some do it directly, some indirectly. My heart is to help those who have been rendered paralyzed, immobilized, voiceless in this system. They need someone, and I choose myself for them, at least the ones I know of. And quite honestly, I need them right now. They are why I desire to stay in the game.”
He paused, and Anne jumped on it. “Eric, don’t you want to be somebody great? Don’t you want to be important? Won’t you be able to help the kind of people you are talking about in a bigger way? Don’t you want us to be able to do more things?”
“God, Anne, we have stuff that 99% of the world’s population only dream of. No, I don’t thirst after more things. We can do whatever we choose for the most part. I don’t need importance. There’s no real attraction there for me. I am so energized about this new case. My heart is enthused and alive and I’m doing this because I love it.”
“Sounds like you love ‘it’ more than me, Eric. You don’t get it. I wanted my position. I visualized it. I worked to get it. I was hungry for it, and now, it’s mine. That’s what’s making me happy.”
“Great, Anne, and what are you going to do with it now? Who are you sharing it with?”
“What sharing are you doing with your enthusiasm? What…”
Eric cut her off. “My clients and I develop a deep relationship. They know the energy I expend. They stay in touch, in some cases for years. And I have recently been reminded of that. No, I don’t want a partnership, because it won’t serve them any better. It will help me and hurt those in need, because I won’t be able to pay attention to them. A simple thing, but…”
Anne stood and moved closer to him. “But what, Eric? Because you’ve got everything so goddam figured out, and I don’t? Because you judge me for my ambition to get something good for myself?”
Eric breathed deeply again. “No, Anne, I know I’ve helped them because I loved to do that, to help, and love is felt. My passion lies in that; my heart is to care for people and work for justice for them. Nothing will change my heart about that.”
Anne turned to leave and looked over her shoulder. “Good thing you’ve been sleeping in the guest room.”
It was the first time she openly said anything about that.
So, have I shown through their words the difference between ambition and passion, shown rather than just dumping definitions through characters’ words? I hope so.
And I would leave with this thought: In a connotative sense, ambition is selfish. Passion erupts from self but seeks a free joyous expression that doesn’t harm others, that ultimately works for the good of others. Passion is born of love. Ambition is born of grasping selfishness.
Give me passion arising from Heart impetus. That is noble.
Questions to consider:
How many times have you asked yourself or simply thought about the following questions?
Who am I, really?
What is my truth?
How do my actions reveal what I really feel and believe?
What would I do with my life if I could do anything?
What is my passion?
Why am I here?
How can I discover answers to any of these questions?
If you have considered any of these questions, I hope that my experiences and writing will give you some guidance. Please read my blog and comment and share your thoughts. I would love to hear from you!