Well, I can honestly say I have worked to increase the strength of my characters in The Fellowship of the Heart. I have also increased the conflict and tension between Anne and Eric Lafarnge. While I have shared what amounts to ideas of conversations and interactions, I have expanded them in the rewrite and even used them in different ways than I envisioned.
It’s an insight into my own mind, and I discover ideas I hold about relationships. One thing I’ve learned is I read more into words and actions than a lot of people. I read energies, which isn’t really helpful when authoring a novel and may not even be helpful in life, but it’s me, just the way I am. I hope I have created the characters and their attitudes with the right words. I’m working on it, at least.
In Chapter 3, we gain some insight about Edward and Kathryn, who work with Anne. We also find that Anne and Eric are thinking quite differently about their lives. I’ll share a portion of that here. I wrote the base of this dialog a week ago, but if you’re like me, you won’t remember it. If you do, hopefully, you’ll see how I expanded it and embedded it with their respective energies.
Anne leaned closer to Eric. “How in the hell did this become about you? I’m talking about me being a senior associate.”
“Okay, Anne. You’re right. I’m sorry. Did he say anything else?” I really don’t care.
She regained her enthusiasm. “Yes, he did. The essence of it was I should determine what I want and stop at nothing or no one until I get it. Don’t hope for it; just get it at any cost. He told me that part was mentoring, except that he left the distinct impression he was one person not to cross or try to walk over.”
“And did that impress you, Anne? You sound inspired by that spirit of crushing people to get what you want. Is that inspiring to you?”
“God, Eric, quit being so negative. This is an opportunity, a great professional achievement for me. You act like you don’t even care about it. In fact, you don’t sound like you care about much of anything except being all introverted and acting like you’re some sage. Do you even care about becoming a partner at your firm? Do you care that we can grow together? You’ve been like this for awhile now, but it’s gotten worse in the last month or so. What in the hell is going on with you? Do you have any ambition at all anymore?” And of course we’re back to you again.
Eric turned to look straight into her eyes. “Yeah, like I said, Anne, I’ve been thinking about a lot of things lately.” Without hesitation, he rose, set his glass in the sink, and headed for the library.
Anne followed a minute later, slammed the French door, and opened the refrigerator. She grabbed a block of Irish Dubliner cheese and slammed it on the quartz countertop.
Neither one of them spoke again that evening, and Anne still was distracted the next day by their conversation and the whole night. She simply could not concentrate. She decided to call Eric at his office.
Eric’s heart has begun exposing what an ego-motivated, ego-engineered life looks like. He hasn’t been able, yet, to cognitively analyze it enough to put it into words. He is, obviously, I hope, going through some soul searching. It’s not helping his relationship with Anne. Ego conflict is occurring in him, as his ego lets him know he is hurt, but the only solution ego can offer is to withdraw.
Anne, on the other hand, is yielding fully to her ego, embracing a reckless ambition her model, Paul Egan, has provided her. She, however, is not heartless. Her ego hasn’t won full supremacy, and her two younger colleagues understand, sense something going on in her soul.
How aware are we of such movements within ourselves — the interplay of heart and ego in relationships? Do we know ourselves well enough to be able to explain it to those with whom we are in significant relations? What is our response when no common ground can be found with others?
All significant questions.We each must discover those answers for ourselves; hell, we each must learn to ask our own questions that even need to be answered. Address your heart and see what you can learn, what you can discover.
Questions to consider:
How many times have you asked yourself or simply thought about the following questions?
Who am I, really?
What is my truth?
How do my actions reveal what I really feel and believe?
What would I do with my life if I could do anything?
What is my passion?
Why am I here?
How can I discover answers to any of these questions?
If you have considered any of these questions, I hope that my experiences and writing will give you some guidance. Please read my blog and comment and share your thoughts. I would love to hear from you!