Have you ever heard that little whispery voice, maybe just a vague sense that someone has other motives that are hidden? That little voice just might be the beginning of a Heart conversation.
In my novel, as Anne Lafarnge realizes some things just aren’t adding up, she starts questioning, evaluating. She experiences the first stirrings of soul response to Heart, and that is my focus.
(By the way, this is really raw because I have been undecided about how to present this. It’s part of the fun of writing, and I hope not only you get the thematic message but also that you might be prompted to explore and discover some of those Heart whispers you may hear.)
Anne sat at her desk after the discussion with Kathryn and Edward. She wondered why Stan and Paul had been watching the three of them.
She sat casually scrolling through an on-line journal examining the composite, pre-manufactured materials that Edward and Kathy had specified in their work-up of the alternative design. That’s when she sensed some inner, indistinct, yet familiar voice: Don’t talk about this to Stan or Paul. Why are you concerned, Anne? What troubles you?
Her first thought was to delete her computer search history, which she knew would still be traceable if anyone in tech took was commanded to find it, but she did it anyway. She opened her drawer, grabbed a blank pad from one of their suppliers, and started writing.
“Why would Paul be working so closely with Stan? He supported me instead of Stan for the associate position. What is going on? And why do I feel this sense of caution? How could I not have seen this before? Paul has something else going on. He always does. I remember what he said: I support winners. I win. Am I threatening some victory for him? Why in the hell do I feel so wary? Is this paranoia of having a position of power? What could it be?”
You know what it is, Anne. Deep down, you know. You must listen. Don’t be afraid to face it.
She continued writing: “Face what? Face that I’m being used for someone else’s ulterior…wait a minute. This is like junior class president all over again, isn’t it?”
What’s that, Anne?
“Oh, yes, I know it. That is it. Henry let me win so I would feel sorry for him and go out with him. I don’t think Paul wants anything like that, maybe, but I know he’s got something going on with Stan Boyle.”
Why are you really upset, Anne?
The pen kept moving over the paper’s surface, making a friendly, familiar, rich scratching sound, the faintest odor of ink rising from the page. “I’m upset because I didn’t recognize I was being played. Maybe not. I’m not sure. Shit. What does that slimy Stan Boyle have to do with this? Something isn’t right. I need to talk to Eric.”
Yes, go now, Anne.
As she wrote Eric’s name, she let the pen fall from her hand and stared out the window for a few seconds. A gust of wind stirred the trees in the parking lot median, and she knew she had to leave. As she flipped the pen she had been using into the top drawer, she tore off the sheet of paper she had written on. She felt a sense of urgency. She neglected to completely clear her desk as usual. As she glided up and out of the chair, she reached behind her and snagged her purse handle on the way to the door. She plucked her jacket off of the rack, and just as she was about to open the handle, she heard voices and froze in place. She didn’t want to see or speak with anyone else. She trusted Eric’s judgment; she wanted to hear his voice. With her hand poised above the door handle, she waited.
“I’ll just rush out like I have something to do.” She heard the voices at the far end of the hall to the right, towards Paul’s office. She wouldn’t even look that way. With quick long strides, she slid through the opening, not even bothering to shut the door. She didn’t like shut doors anyway.
At first, such words from Heart may not be so distinct, just a sense of inner communication. When that happens, we need to get silent and listen very closely. Well, occasional questions always help and will be answered!!
Questions to consider:
How many times have you asked yourself or simply thought about the following questions?
Who am I, really?
What is my truth?
How do my actions reveal what I really feel and believe?
What would I do with my life if I could do anything?
What is my passion?
Why am I here?
How can I discover answers to any of these questions?
If you have considered any of these questions, I hope that my experiences and writing will give you some guidance. Please read my blog and comment and share your thoughts. I would love to hear from you!