Well, friends, tonight I institute a little different tone and character to my nightly articles. I received my manuscript evaluation for my novel from my editor. Let’s just say I’ve got some major work to do. Honestly, after allowing myself about twelve hours of wallowing in Ego pity and rationalizations about why I just needed to give up, I am excited to dive back into the novel work.
My posts have all been thematically connected to my novel, The Fellowship of the Heart, for the last 201 days. The novel follows the course of self-awakening of some of the characters and the effects of that in lives. As I wrote daily over these past seven months, I sought a heart message tailored to the day. I invested myself emotionally in each day’s work, regardless of response or lack thereof.
You probably know that I start the day with a Morning Pages post, which embodies a seed idea. Many times that idea requires some reading, research, and reflections before I write my article in the evening. Then, I prepare a pic message and caption before bed. These things along with the social media work make up about 9 or so hours of every day. And I love that work because it is my Heart and expression for my life purpose right now.
However, my novel also is part of that, which is why now the best I can do is invite you along on my journey of a re-write. I hope you will enjoy it. I will still have heart-truths embodied in my articles, because my novel deals with those issues. There’s no way it comments on the broad range of topics that I have covered over these last months, though. Maybe seeing my thought process, struggles, and just personal touches will be meaningful to you.
I’ve gotta say I am not totally comfortable with this. I have had to process my emotions from yesterday when I read the manuscript evaluation. Oh, there were positives, but the difficulties with the text requires a rewrite. At first, my ego ran with this. OMG! “You have wasted all this time writing articles and posts tied to this stupid book, and now you’ve got nothing.” Or try this one on. I couldn’t even believe it was coming from me! “Just cut your losses, quit the writing shit, and grab any 40 hour a week job so you don’t go back to this. You know you can’t put in 60 or 70 hours a week writing for something you don’t even get paid for AND work a regular job”
Yes, some hours of despair, but my own writing, my own faithful heart, and messages from some of you who had no idea of what I was feeling helped me quickly navigate past Ego and into Heart and life purpose. Someone who had never commented on any of my IG posts said, “Love your posts. Keep it up!” That was exactly 23 hours ago. Confirmation, while not required, sure in the hell helps.
This is already longer than I anticipated, so let me share this: I am enthusiastic and see fresh approaches to my characters and development of my plot. I have already laid out, very sketchily, the first four new chapters. I’m going to be sharing specifics I work with every day, because I have to do that or quit this. And I am not quitting this, thank you!
Heart truth: Remember my purpose; I am Discovery and currently working to manifest core Self, personal truth, and expressions of life purpose — and help others discover the same. Have those reminders around, like my own many months worth of writing. Be aware of Ego voice and actively choose the hOS — Heart Operating System. Finally, open my eyes to the signs of Spirit and Universe working all things for my good. (By the way, I added more followers on IG today than I have for a few months — never been a lot, but hey, more is more!)
I sincerely hope you are enjoying this magic-filled life, and while choosing heart makes it possible to see that, it doesn’t make anyone superior. Life is life, love is love, and love and life are to be valued, no matter how one processes this wonderful experience.
With that, love and peace!
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Questions to consider:
How many times have you asked yourself or simply thought about the following questions?
Who am I, really?
What is my truth?
How do my actions reveal what I really feel and believe?
What would I do with my life if I could do anything?
What is my passion?
Why am I here?
How can I discover answers to any of these questions?
If you have considered any of these questions, I hope that my experiences and writing will give you some guidance. Please read my blog and comment and share your thoughts. I would love to hear from you!