This continues my personal experience I may be adding to my ebook. It’s been encouraging to me just reviewing it all!
I did. And that summer I bought and read other books, too, specifically two of Coelho’s novels, The Alchemist and The Fifth Mountain. In addition, two other books were instrumental that summer: Animal Speak by Ted Andrews and Wheels of Lifeby Anodea Judith. No quotes here from those works, but I can tell you that they are marked up because they served to reinforce, confirm, explain, and crystallize ideas and experiences I had lived for many years. My Heart used various genres of literature to keep calling for the attention of my being. And Heart had my attention that summer.
I had no idea that the coming school year would be my last in public education. Even though that possibility was months away, I knew something was happening to me. I knew that the old unrest, disorientation, and doubts reared themselves in my consciousness. Who was I really? Just an enthusiastic, fun teacher? Just a nice guy? Someone who really, genuinely cared for others? Yes, all of those. (Hey, I’m not kidding myself; not everyone would see me in those ways — most but not all!)
But I was still not quite there. Let me make this clear: I regret none of the experiences of my life. I think that I use all of them in different circumstances. However, my mind and soul knew I had not established a vital mind-soul connection with life, the Universe itself. And the books I had read spurred all of that, in part.
I knew something was happening within me. I would read and mark and think and cross-reference other books. Something urged me to allow, to accept, the magic of life I had played with, been tantalized with all my life, and I was now reading about it. I felt I had to do something; I was getting too old not to try. Yes, something prompted all these things in my mind and soul. Heart is something, isn’t it?
Of course, at that point my ego weighed in hot and heavy, rationalizing why I would be stupid to leave education, why I had been a failure in the past and couldn’t risk it again, why I had even earned the wrong master’s degree, why others — many others — would think I was crazy.
As I said, my Heart worked faithfully throughout my life, and it seemed that now I was ready. One of my margin notes reads “Leaving ed[ucation] — Writing a desire from childhood. Better understanding of self.” I was headed that way. My attention fixated on that. I started writing in minor ways sitting in the back yard.
I never have done well with divided attention or purposes. I had no idea how I would leave education outside of writing a bestseller — like a hundred words at a time! But I looked in the mirror. I looked into my own eyes, into my own depths. I spoke, and another part of me answered. It was very real. I wasn’t drunk, I swear! Nor was it even at night so not a dream either. I knew my Heart had begun whispering to me, distinctly speaking to me.
I find it amazing that my notes and thoughts written over the course of the last fifteen or twenty years are all consistent, focused, and harmonized, even though they are scattered throughout different books, notebooks, and files over very different times in my life. It’s an assurance to me that my Heart has ever been there. One of my notes concerned the epiphany of the power through Heart that we possess. I am a powerful creator. I am Spirit within. I neither apologize for it nor justify it. I am.
And now this incredible phenomenon has occurred — no, let me rephrase that. I have manifested my created purpose. I said I believed it and now I do it. One part of that is I write. I allow magic and use magic to write and communicate and relate to others. How do I know I did this?
Part way through that final school year, an announcement was made that a new early retirement incentive would be offered to anyone with fifteen or more years of service. I was on seventeen. Some friends and colleagues thought I was foolish. I thought I had some specific income-producing ideas, but they didn’t pan out very well. But I had the word of my Heart. I had consciously acknowledged Heart. I knew the voice of my Heart. I heard it through my own mouth and in my own mind. I would not go back. I would pursue what I had desired and marked in the margin of my book the summer before: “Writing a desire from childhood.”
So, here I am, six years later. Even though Ego would have me consider everything based on income, I have — because of Heart-truth, our Purpose, Vision, and Mission — written these daily blogs for eleven months now, asking no favors, generating no income, not even asking for followers and likes, shares, and all that social media stuff. It’s my truth I believe has encouraged and helped some. I am creating, though, and this little book is part of my work.
Questions to consider:
How many times have you asked yourself or simply thought about the following questions?
Who am I, really?
What is my truth?
How do my actions reveal what I really feel and believe?
What would I do with my life if I could do anything?
What is my passion?
Why am I here?
How can I discover answers to any of these questions?
If you have considered any of these questions, I hope that my experiences and writing will give you some guidance. Please read my blog and comment and share your thoughts. I would love to hear from you!