February 15th, 2017
I don’t have a lot of lead-in or afterthought to this entry. I have worked today on both of my books. Actually, my eyes are burning right now because I’m so tired.
I wrote much more than I share tonight, but this is the realization of Eric and Anne Lafarnge as they recognize the process of awakening they have been experiencing. What seems like an epiphany has really been the faithful working of Heart in their minds and souls for years. They understand part of this, and they understand there is much yet to learn. I hope their experience here might give you cause to explore and discover even more of yourself. I know when I write these types of passages, I keep discovering more of Me!
The following scene begins with Anne as she asks Eric about his experience in awakening to his heart, the little voice they both heard.
“Okay, I hear you. Is that where I am now? What is this sensation, this voice?”
“Anne, there’s so much I don’t know, and it would be so easy to turn to religious, theological ideas. But that just didn’t do it for me. All those months you thought I was being mopey and lazy and irresponsible about my career — all of that time I was gradually hearing that voice and that memory of my parents. So let me tell you the best I know how.”
Anne’s eyes misted over. “Please, Eric. Please forgive me. I had no idea.”
“Anne, this is the way it is meant to be. I do not blame you, even though I was often angry with you. I didn’t know these things early on, so I’ll tell you what I felt. So many things in my life — as I look back now — were times when that little voice, my own true self, was speaking to me, trying to make me see, make me respond and own myself.”
“Who is that, Eric? What have you learned?”
“That I have this deep part of me that just is, the part of me that came here to experience life. And even though I can look back and see my heart — that’s the part of me I have come to know, allow, and acknowledge as that little voice. It was working, and one day a couple months ago, just in the little park across the street from the office, it all came so clear — the voice, a conversation, a reality. I knew I was part of this whole great plan of the Universe. In the deepest part of me, I am eternal, so I could face taking your resentment and others’, too.”
“Oh, Eric, I think that’s how I’m feeling.” Anne paused once again. “No, I know that’s how I’m feeling. This is an epiphany, but a weird one. It’s been on the way for awhile now, hasn’t it?”
“I think so, Anne, and I am listening to my own words and yours now, and I can hardly believe that we are in this together. Is this the way it should be? Do others experience this? Couples, families? It seems miraculous, marvelous. And some part of me is telling me I’m being melodramatic, but I know we came awful close to losing our relationship.”
“No, Eric, don’t listen to that part of you. That’s got to be ego. That’s your nature, part of what I blamed on your lack of ambition. I thought that part of you was telling you that you’re not good enough for a partnership, but you are. You don’t want it, though, do you? Why? Is it that ego voice?”
Eric paused now, picked up his glass and sipped the last bit of beer in the comfort of their deck and the warm late afternoon sun. “Anne, no, I have recognized that part of me, too. I reject it. Almost simultaneous with the recognition of my heart speaking to me, seeing that it is the true me, I knew I had a purpose. No, It’s not that I had it, but I decided on it, created it, because I knew somewhere, somehow, what was consistent with this new acknowledgment of my true self.”
“And what was that, Eric?” Anne was hanging on his words.
“I know that I was all about justice, about giving a voice to those who have been silenced by legislation that is rigged against them, rigged to protect the politicians and lawyers and oligarch type organizations and people. I knew that I wanted to be a voice for the voiceless, to seek justice for those who experience injustice from corrupt, biased, and willful conspirators in fixing laws so they can maintain power and bulldoze those who stand it their way.” He looked at Anne and recognized how fixated she was on him. “Anne, look in my eyes. I got carried away here. I think this is what I have felt. I have not vocalized this to anyone else. I think this all came from my heart. Does it make sense? Any of it?”
And that is all for tonight. Does it make sense to you? I hope so. It was my intent. Engender and enjoy those Heart conversations, and please don’t allow Ego to dissuade you of these spiritual realities.
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Questions to consider:
How many times have you asked yourself or simply thought about the following questions?
Who am I, really?
What is my truth?
How do my actions reveal what I really feel and believe?
What would I do with my life if I could do anything?
What is my passion?
Why am I here?
How can I discover answers to any of these questions?
If you have considered any of these questions, I hope that my experiences and writing will give you some guidance. Please read my blog and comment and share your thoughts. I would love to hear from you!