Sometimes, my thoughts seem so disparate, so dissonant, yet there they are. Have you ever experienced that — random thoughts that may not seem connected but they really are? Mental health professionals are keenly aware of how our minds work, and they encourage rambling. It’s amazing what emerges.
It happened to me this morning as I wrote and fellowshipped with my own Heart. I’m going to give the words as I wrote them this morning, because the nature of the free-flowing freewrite fits what I’m speaking of — as follows:
“I was thinking about my lack of a significant income and some possible jobs were sent my way. Wait! That’s not the good part! I don’t want the jobs. Why? They aren’t why I get up every day, my reason for being here. And that made me think about my relationship with money and how childhood affected that. Then, I heard from my Heart and Spirit that all I need is here; it’s a matter of growth into accessing what I want. And my childhood? A four room apartment in a square city block of buildings exactly the same. And always my family financially challenged, to the point that our standard operating procedure was secret phone rings from family so we wouldn’t answer and get a bill collector. Yeah, like that. See, I realized this morning, as I have previously, but it was fresh today, that I chose to come into that. In fact, I’m so happy I experienced that and all associated with it. I know others wouldn’t say, “Awesome!” But it is looking back and I always knew, especially as a young boy, that my Heart spoke to me. Yes, Ego did it’s society-acclimating work, but I look back and know I chose and Heart worked and I made my experiences in order to evolve to where I am now. Last night I mentioned Evolution. My life was that. Then, when it all came together, that connection to and awakening to conscious knowledge of Heart being core Self, that was Epiphany. And now? Now it’s a process, a journey of and in an awakened growth in Identity and Purpose/ Reason” (from my “Morning Pages” post earlier today, 3/1/17).
From finances to childhood to awareness of Heart to socioeconomic status and environment to spiritual realization of choice to enter into those exact circumstances to Ego’s work — all random thoughts I had this morning, and they all led me to understand the evolutionary nature of my life. If we don’t have Heart to help put that in perspective, we may look back through the lens of Ego and see inequity and misery. I see Spirit working through Heart to bring us to the ultimate point we really came here for: to reconnect with our divine nature and enjoy this experience in all the fullness we desire.
At the point we realize we have a choice for Heart, that, to me, is an Epiphany. But in all reality, my whole life was a setup. Heart knowledge wasn’t something I had never considered or heard of; I just hadn’t had the ah-ha moment, the light bulb experience, the moment when I put it all together for me. Yeah, it took me awhile — a little dense, I suppose! Not really, it happened perfectly.
Since then, I have done a lot of work in continuing to understand and know myself, not in an self-obsessive way (see last night’s post!), but rather in a practical outworking of my core Self. The sum total of that is one word, really: Happiness. That’s what it’s all about. It’s a process, a journey.
The awesome thing about this journey is I don’t have to wait till I get to a certain point, gain some degree, reach some pinnacle in order to arrive at the destination of Happiness. My little leg of the Happiness road today involved these outwardly random thoughts that converged into some semblance of meaning. I enjoyed the destination, but it isn’t the end point — freshness springs up daily if we look for it. We arrive, yet we embark, day in, day out. Love it!
If you haven’t done it, evaluate you experience. Why not? You created it! Recognize the Evolution, experience the Epiphany, and enjoy the Process, a journey begun and ended every day. Happiness.
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Questions to consider:
How many times have you asked yourself or simply thought about the following questions?
Who am I, really?
What is my truth?
How do my actions reveal what I really feel and believe?
What would I do with my life if I could do anything?
What is my passion?
Why am I here?
How can I discover answers to any of these questions?
If you have considered any of these questions, I hope that my experiences and writing will give you some guidance. Please read my blog and comment and share your thoughts. I would love to hear from you!