This has been a relatively productive day, but I’m tired — like hardly keeping my eyes open tired. I have continued the rewrite of The Fellowship of the Heart, but on such busy days the progress is slow, especially when exhaustion begins to set in.
I’m not going to share any of that work this evening, mainly because it deals with the same issue of the past several nights, the intensifying antagonism Anne is developing for Eric.
When hearts aren’t consulted, aren’t sought, questioned, and heard, we devise all sorts of scenarios in our heads, ones that further fuel the ego. Justification for misinformed emotions. Rationalization for illogical assumptions. Yes, those are, in part, the domain of the ego, or rather what we with our minds do with the products of ego when we don’t choose heart.
You know what? Maybe I will share a small part of my work today to illustrate this. Anne’s heart tries to speak to her, but instead of choosing Heart, she chooses ego to do her reasoning. Even though her heart wasn’t consulted, it’s still, small voice could be sensed, and she didn’t like it. She argued. She justified. She created her own self-fulfilling prophecy. It’s amazing how energy vibes work like that. We make things happen — one way or another!
As Anne began her commute home, her exuberance about the informal news started growing again. She tried to call one of her closest friends, who lived over a thousand miles away, but to no avail. I’m just not that close to anybody here, except Paul, really, and he knows. Why does Eric’s attitude have to dampen my enthusiasm? Why can’t he be happy for me? I even dread going home to him.
“Why?” The little whisper, so soft, so ephemeral, echoed in her head.
He’s been such an asshole.
“In what way? Because he’s thinking about his life?”
He should be thinking about our life together.
“Is that what you’re doing for him?”
It doesn’t matter. I’m the one with the advancement, the news. He needs to be excited for me, at least. He needs to quit his moping and invest some interest in us. Not even sure I care, though.
One thing is for sure in relationships. If either party quits caring, the relationship quits working. And to refuse the heart is worse than dejection and moroseness when wrestling with that voice, when trying to figure it all out.
Ego is great at making us think refusing heart truth means taking a stand. It’s stubbornness, in many cases, not being a rock or anything else noble. Anne seems determined to be right, which may end up with her being alone. Ultimately, someone who insists on being right, making everything a competition, creating superiority — yeah, those people often end up alone.
Hearts, though, can sort it out, and will, with the slightest movement to listen and to live in love.
Good place to end — in love.
Questions to consider:
How many times have you asked yourself or simply thought about the following questions?
Who am I, really?
What is my truth?
How do my actions reveal what I really feel and believe?
What would I do with my life if I could do anything?
What is my passion?
Why am I here?
How can I discover answers to any of these questions?
If you have considered any of these questions, I hope that my experiences and writing will give you some guidance. Please read my blog and comment and share your thoughts. I would love to hear from you!