How can anyone have honest, meaningful relationships of any kind with others if they don’t have a real relationship with themselves? You know, like the answer to those questions: Who am I? What do I really want to do with my life?
The question answers itself: You can’t have a deep, true, abiding relationship with others if you don’t have a relationship with your own Heart. Your relationships will take on the characteristics of your own internal relationship.
What happens when people can’t reconcile why they are in this world, what purpose they have?
Many things can happen, but the most common response has been described by the often-quoted Thoreau: “The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. What is called resignation is confirmed desperation.”
It’s bad enough when folks resign themselves to mediocrity; however, the moment that is accepted, the course of their relationships are set, too: mediocrity. Fortunately, it’s not as dead set as that because we are humans, but the effects of not connecting with one’s Heart affects everything else in life, in one way or another.
When we connect with Heart, we set in motion waves of life energy that Ego does not, cannot generate or appreciate. Ego isolates in a variety of ways, some that appear positive, some negative. We don’t have to engage in extensive reasoning to know, then, if we allow Ego to be our primary operating system, we should not expect great relationships. In fact, we pretty much doom ourselves to strings of faulty, unsatisfying, maybe even antagonistic ones. It’s not my purpose here to expose the depths of the negative, so let’s consider another effect of those wonderful waves of life energy.
Hearts, being part of eternal Spirit packaged in these mortal bodies, desires connection, connections not only with the totality of our being — body, mind, soul, even ego — but also Heart desires connection with others. I’m not saying anything new here, just laying out these steps in order to help us see the fulness of what it means to know and live Heart, our core Self. And this is Step 7.
Identity results when we choose to speak with and connect to Heart, when we realize Heart is the answer to Who am I. But the master plan wasn’t to stop there. No, no. We came packaged with Heart in order to live purposefully. Hearts aren’t happy to just hang out in our bodies. Nope! They want to do something, and that something involves connecting to others in order to work, to accomplish, to achieve.
Our life Purpose, Vision, and Mission are meant to put us in relationships that are mutually beneficial, significant, and filled with daily work that produces greatness. When we as individuals gain identity of core Self, immediately we will want to find out how we are supposed to be passing our time in this world, and it will be work that matters, that connects, that helps — us and the Other.
I can’t help but bring up my old pal Walt Whitman again. His powerful little poem, “A Noiseless Patient Spider,” portrays this longing for connection. In the poem, the spider has self-identity. It knows damn well it’s a spider. It surveys the environment, and what is the first thing it does? Slings webs: “It launched forth filament, filament, filament, out of itself / Ever unreeling them, ever tirelessly speeding them.” The spider needed to connect.
And this is what Walt wants us to see. We know that because in the second stanza, he likens humans to the spider:
And you O my soul where you stand,
Surrounded, detached, in measureless oceans of space,
Ceaselessly musing, venturing, throwing, seeking the spheres to connect them,
Till the bridge you will need be form’s, till the ductile anchor hold,
Till the gossamer thread you fling catch somewhere, O my soul.
The poet knows his soul — “O my soul” — and with that knowledge immediately seeks connections, does things, works in order to forge relationships with others, those relationships being based on purposed work. Hearts seek connection through the work resulting from life Purpose.
I hope you know the beauty of this Step 7 in my description of the defining, unifying discovery of core Self, our own Heart. These steps plus a few others describe the Grand Unified Theory of Humanity. The choice of Heart — make it.
Onward and Upward!
Questions to consider:
How many times have you asked yourself or simply thought about the following questions?
Who am I, really?
What is my truth?
How do my actions reveal what I really feel and believe?
What would I do with my life if I could do anything?
What is my passion?
Why am I here?
How can I discover answers to any of these questions?
If you have considered any of these questions, I hope that my experiences and writing will give you some guidance. Please read my blog and comment and share your thoughts. I would love to hear from you!