Sometimes, I imagine people may feel a bit critical when I write about personal challenges or confess those things I perceive as weakness. Usually, it would be those closest to me. I don’t care, though, not really. Oh, I care about them, about anyone who would criticize me, but critical opinions meant to change me mean nothing.
What I am speaking about tonight reveals the duality of dynamics active in me, in anyone. My cognitive belief is I am perfect and I don’t do things wrong. My Ego, though, makes me feel otherwise at times, but it has less and less opportunity to shoot signals to my soul and mind. When it does, I deal with it instead of trying to justify my Ego-driven thoughts or actions.
And just a bit earlier this evening, I wrote about this being one of the most stressful weeks over the last fourteen months. I’m not totally sure why, because I know the Universe works on my behalf based on my energies, and sometimes, I’m not aware of the things I have been calling into my life. I do know what I was thinking about this morning.
It’s an issue that presents a challenge to me: money. And because of my childhood, I equate money with self-worth. Not producing an income feels like my work is deficient: Lack money, lack meaning. I, my Heart-self, do not believe that. How do I respond, then, when such feelings arise at a soul, emotion level?
I have to ask my Heart to work, to help me see, intuit, understand the dynamics at play. It also seems way simpler when I’m not in the midst of experiencing the emotion, but during the episode, not so simple. I know parts of me Ego has isolated need to be exposed. I know this is important to change the emotions in order to change the energy. I hold my cognitive belief about my self-worth, but soul-emotions drive the energy, and I need to make them right, mainly because that’s part of my truth and my happiness.
Carl Jung said, “One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light but by making the darkness conscious.” So maybe publicly sharing my challenges from time to time may not be considered proper or wise by some, but it helps me “by making the darkness conscious.” It helps me to free that Ego-isolated self, meaning it will be easier to deal with in the future for I will recognize the developing emotions sooner.
Yes, I am valuable, worthy, and confident in myself. Not only that but I also love myself, and this journey of growth is intriguing and gives me joy, even in the midst of some very real challenges.
Blessings in your journey!
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Questions to consider:
How many times have you asked yourself or simply thought about the following questions?
Who am I, really?
What is my truth?
How do my actions reveal what I really feel and believe?
What would I do with my life if I could do anything?
What is my passion?
Why am I here?
How can I discover answers to any of these questions?
If you have considered any of these questions, I hope that my experiences and writing will give you some guidance. Please read my blog and comment and share your thoughts. I would love to hear from you!