But What about That Grouch?: Choices When We Hit a Sour Note

Yesterday, I wrote about the beauty of resonance with other people, places, and things. However, at one point I thought what about people that we just seem to clash with, those with whom we experience disharmony and dissonance? How we respond to those folks can be a character and heart-building experience — or more. What do we do?

I begin with caring about my own soul because I love core Self. That must be a priority. That is the prerequisite for the expression of love to all else. When we do come across those who clash with our frequency, we have three choices according to Eckhart Tolle: “So change the situation by taking action or by speaking out if necessary or possible; leave the situation or accept it.”

I have increasingly decided to choose the last alternative when dealing with people: accept it. Accept that I need to be with them, speak to them, or interact with them in some way; changing them is not an objective.

All ego opposition just melts with that spirit of acceptance. However, that does not mean accepting their words, judgments, decisions, or actions. It means accepting that you are going to deal with this person. When you do that, you are free to express your core Self because you have given up the ego struggle of trying to avoid another and insulate yourself. Choose the heart response of expressing yourself, and then, show that.

I have a neighbor who I and many others in the ‘hood avoided as much as possible. I saw the guy almost every day, so a few years ago I thought accept it. Next time I saw him, I engaged him in what was for him an unexpected conversation, even though he came out holding a plastic bag of dog poop that he was insinuating my dogs had left on his lawn. I pulled out my pocket full of empty poop bags, held up the one that I had already used, and just started talking about how good my puppies are and how I take care of them.

I’m neither genius nor psychic; what happened next was not planned. I talked about my dogs, so I thought Ask him something. Now, he is a gruff guy, but when I asked about his family tears came to his eyes. “The wife died three months ago.” Tears welled up in my eyes, too.
We are still discordant, but by accepting that I would speak with him even in the face of censure, I at least have quieted his judgmental thoughts towards me and the pups. That’s what discordant notes do — quiet or cancel one another. Now, whenever I speak to him, I express my heart instead of avoiding him. Not long ago, he brought out bones for the dogs when we were walking past, so who knows?

It doesn’t always work out well, but whenever I present my heart and not my ego, I feel better. It sucks to feel and say negative things about others; I know because I still do it sometimes.

​There are definitely times to leave situations, and there are definitely wonderful, positive times to change things. On a daily basis, though, when I encounter discord, I have learned that accepting builds me up. That doesn’t mean resignation to changing your vibrational match to try and resonate with someone else or get them to harmonize with you. It means accept that you will interact and express your true self. It will either change their vibration or quiet them.

And we can move Onward and Upward!

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