A Boy, a Man, a Mirror, and a New Year

What are the good feelings I want to experience this year? My question for the new year! What is yours? I may not get to know yours, but I hope it’s a good one.

In fact, I hope if anyone hasn’t answered that most basic question about who they really are as core Self that they would be seeking that, followed quickly by creating what they want to do here. And to me, Purpose is best based on what is it that makes one feel good, that makes one excited, that presents the possibility to feel significant and live passionately.

I worked with teenagers for too long to know that someone might think that doing nothing feels good, drinking a beer every hour all day, eating oneself into oblivion, or any of thousands of spurious type ideas could feel good, ones that maybe occasionally would be pretty sweet. However, I’m talking about the thing that someone knows they would be proud of and knows that every day doing that would be a joy and show love and reveal who that core Self is.

If any of those things that just make the body feel good for a short time reveal who the core Self is, who that piece of eternal Spirit dwelling in us is, then go for it. I’m pretty sure those superficial things won’t, though. I will say I love to drink beer, sip fine single malt, eat gourmet foods, hell, comfort foods for that matter — all of those can be enjoyed, can’t they? Can they, however, give life fulfillment?
See, I want to do things that show who core Self is and that are meaningful and satisfying on a mind and soul level, things that I know come from my Heart because I spend time speaking to and listening to my Heart.

Every day I ask and receive from my Heart. If I didn’t, I couldn’t write this.

So, how do I know what feels good from the Heart? Because if I don’t do whatever it is, I am not a happy camper; in fact, I feel like I’m letting myself down — and absolutely and only myself. I have learned over the years that whatever anyone else’s expectations, approvals, disapprovals, or adulations are, they should hold NO sway over what my heart tells me — NONE. Any caving to others is the work of Ego.

Therefore, this New Year’s planning, I know what I have to do. While I don’t wish it on anyone, I do know the reality of one other measure of knowing Purpose, and that involves being willing to do whatever it is even if I’m not getting paid for it. I plan on my writing paying sometime, but I am not there yet.

I will write, working on several projects this coming year. I am planning on having two books published and marketed. I have another in the works, too. However, I have no idea what detours may occur. I only know that if it feels right in revealing me and if I crave it as part of my Purpose, I’m doing it. My Heart will always let me know. But that requires quietness, patience, and willingness to choose Heart over Ego as that primary operating system.

I knew a boy who as an eleven year old looked into a mirror and determined with a fire, desire, and drive from his Heart that he would be a writer.

I knew the same boy after others, including parents and teachers, lightly passed off the passion of that boy, and he looked in the mirror and thought he couldn’t do it if adults didn’t believe it could happen. He listened to his Ego and played ball and pursued girls and tried one thing and another in terms of education. None of it meant too much.

I knew the man that boy became and allowed that same Ego to tear down his confidence further when college professors told him he wrote awkwardly. I knew him as he became convinced by that Ego he should sacrifice self to make others’ lives more meaningful and valuable, so he got jobs and worked hard and excelled in various fields. None of it meant too much.

I knew the man who looked into a mirror and had no idea what had become of the little boy who wanted to write. He was a man almost everyone liked, but he didn’t know who that was.

I knew that man as he heeded the whispers of Heart inside and went back to college and determined he was doing what he was supposed to be doing, even though others thought he was being foolish. He became a teacher of writing, among other things, and he was very accomplished in that career. However, he still looked in the mirror and was not quite complete, had not really met himself.

I know that man who determined he would be the writer the little boy saw in the mirror. I know the man who looked into his own eyes in another mirror and discovered he could hear his Heart, not whispering, but speaking clearly, speaking with meaning.

I know the man who listened to his Heart confirming that he is indeed a writer. He now follows those promptings, chooses what feels good and right and reveals that Self to whoever cares to look, to see, but he is not moved by that, even though he freely loves.

I have allowed you to look into my mirror and hear part of my Heart and will continue to do so in this coming year.

​Blessings!