I have been honest about those waves of insecurity that sometimes smack me in my face, shoot up my nose, and make me sputter. I know, though, that resorting to any other course of action than that on which I have embarked is an Ego cop-out.
Oh, Ego cop-outs are easy enough to justify and to very many people make more sense and appear wiser. However, let me share this with those who face rough waves from time to time (and we all do). Try evaluating where the Ego course of action will lead you to. I analyze pretty astutely, and I know for a fact where Ego action of abandonment of Heart-purpose leads: to despair, to regret, to resignation to all those philosophers, counselors, friends, fiends, and family who said it would never work, you could never do it. What I can’t do is to divine how your Heart may work. I believe it would work in things with which you are familiar, in terms you understand, that make sense to you. That’s how it works for me, usually through literature. My mind and soul, under the direction of Heart, which I invoked, took me to literary periods. Weird for most of you, right?! But perfectly natural to me. A reconnection with my lit teaching past. I don’t make up this kind of stuff; it would be a stupid made-up illustration for most of you. I hope that by sharing it, you may have an example of how very practical Heart can be. I thought about literary periods that seem to apply. The Age of Reason and Enlightenment, Romanticism, and Realism are connections, and this morning they framed the way I was thinking. The Age of Reason and Enlightenment, in general, looked at and was guided by logical thought structures. Many brilliant people, thinkers, and leaders emerged from this time. However, the literature and art of the period conformed to strict structure. Of course, a lot of great scientific, sociological, and political thought originated then, but ultimately, it all emanated from and rested on all the logic folks could muster through purely brain reasoning. It made them search for answers, but little to no credence was given to the soul expression, a good Ego power play. How did this work for me this morning? I could rationalize by considering the current challenges I face and justify walking away from this writing endeavor (can’t call it a gig because it pays nothing!). I could present a logical, philosophical, unimpeachable foundation for another course of action — IF I allowed Ego to be my operating system. It would be a solution palatable to anyone — who didn’t care about my soul. The genre and period of Realism, on the other hand, does not seek to find solutions or really even ask questions. It’s more like a journalistic reporting of the sucky, dark side of life. It leads to bleak, depressing, and supposedly realistic outlook of human existence. In a way, it can be cathartic, but the best and very well-crafted works leave the reader feeling that’s the way life, my life is. Realism takes us to the realm of inferiority, and for me, I could look at the work of others and just give up, no struggle, just despairing resignation to my inabilities. This is Ego on the flip side, producing feelings of inferiority and hopelessness in humanity. The Enlightenment literature gives one superiority through the machinations of the mind, supreme confidence in our ability to think through anything and arrive at a solution. Ego plays both ends against the middle. Ah, I’ll take the middle. Give me Romanticism, in which Nature is looked to as a mirror in which we can observe the human condition, our nature, that opens the experience of soul and individuality, of idealism and hope. Romanticism gives us connections to the eternal depths of our soul through connections and reconnections to Nature as we reflect on that and apply that to human nature, including in our closest form to the ideal, that of a child. (Another principle of Romantics is to question authority and see if it isn’t egotistical and therefore not to be obeyed.) These reflections and applications in Romantic literature serve to give understanding and to cause us to seek purpose and lay hold of it — carpe diem! Romanticism lays hold of Heart-truth. Our core essence, Heart, is beauty and perfection. We come into this existence to reconnect with that source of eternal Spirit we are part of and that is part of us. Like I said, I could have invented a more relatable example, I suppose, but this was my experience. Listen to how your Heart would encourage you in times when you may be Ego-tempted to leave that which produces your core, your greatest happiness. (Hint: that will not be in another human but rather that which emanates from within your total being.) Create your Purpose and just do it in terms of happiness. Don’t attach to the outcomes; don’t dictate to the Universe exactly what will happen. We can, however, lay claim to how we want to feel, walk in that direction, and be blessed in the little, everyday acts that give us joy and blesses this Universe. Oh, by the way, I did work on my novel today, as well as further development towards my final version of the ebook. And it made me happy! Blessings!
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I have an Ego tendency. I know it’s there, yet I still am influenced by it. If I listen to news and think much about it, I get all urgent. Urgency, in the sense of a hurriedness because of either a threat or a missed opportunity, usually ends in confusion, with bad decisions, with alarm. None of this contributes anything positive to me or those around me — not even to my readers.
My Heart warned me about the sense of urgency this morning. I was obviously thinking about it because I mentioned it last night in reference to the ongoing situation in Syria. Of course, the abysmal conditions in places like Somalia, North Korea, and many others is no less concerning. And these things highlight the reality that humans either operate through Ego or Heart. The more people awaken to core Self, come to know their own Heart, the better this world will be. The life energies emitted by those following their Heart raises our collective frequency, i.e., we are as a whole enjoying increased happiness. This reconnection with eternal Spirit in us, Heart, is no more urgent now than it has ever been. We come here to reconnect. This becomes a process of remembrance, a remembrance I call awakening. We remember we have the Heart operating system. We remember why we came here: to have a physical experience in order to enjoy the wonders of this creation, including one another. Others’ habits or looks or mannerisms may not be ours, but that doesn’t mean they are inferior or superior. They just are. We should all just be. I am. And the most powerful, dynamic, joyful, blessed way to be is to know and live our truth, who core Self is. Part of our remembrance comes in the form of creation. We come to know our power as creators, and we create Purpose, the means of expressing our Heart-identity in a journey of happiness. And the other elements of Awakening follow that, and we work those out in our daily experience: Vision, Goals, Fellowship with our Heart, the Fellowship of the Heart. This is a journey, and because we never will fully arrive due to physical limitations of our bodies and Ego, there is no cause for urgency. For me, urgency interferes almost every time with keeping my own truth. Our personal truth presents our beauty to all else. When I get rushed, I don’t express some of my truth that I know includes kindness and patience. In fact, I love the Heart-truths and -qualities of who I am. Our expression of that noble Self-love, the one that allows free expression of our passions, developed talents — and created Purpose and Vision that contain those passions and talents — reveals how powerful that love is. Others see and feel our love. It’s one of the energies of life, one of the high frequencies that carries us into our future as a species. It’s part and parcel of that which I write daily. We, deep down, want the connections of love with fellow souls, one not defined, interpreted, or shadowed by politics, nationalism, or cultural constraints. All of these are fragments we strive to remember, the reconnections we attempt to make, part of the outworking of core Self. We know we are supposed to love self and love others. We know we want to share and enjoy life with others. Those who don’t, at least on some level, are those walking in willfulness of Ego, and that means unhappiness. It’s a sad state to be in. But what a contrast when we release Ego-drive and allow Heart to operate. We discover parts of Self that we came here to live; we reconnect with our eternality, our divinity. I have written and am working on rewriting my novel because sometimes stories are just easier, more realistic ways to show big ideas. In my novel, The Fellowship of the Heart, Eric and Anne Lafarnge have recently reconnected with their own Heart. They are experiencing some of those discoveries of the Ego-blanketed but beautiful Self. I will share some of that tomorrow. For tonight, blessings! Doggone it! I really need to pay more attention to my puppies. They are really good teachers.
Oh, don’t get the wrong idea. They are not neglected, and honestly, if I paid more attention to them I wouldn’t get much other work done. I walk them three times a day, let them in and out of the yard frequently as I’m writing or reading, and feed them a raw food diet — costly and time-consuming. On the morning walk, we pick up newspapers for older neighbors and take them to the front door. The puppies automatically stop at each of those houses; it’s their job. So, I suppose what I should have said to open this is I need to reflect more on what I see in my pups. (By the way, I call them puppies, but they are kuvaszok. Sassy, older, weighs about 87 pounds, and Spirit weighs in at about 110 or so, maybe a bit more.) Lessons. That’s my focus, and it does lead somewhere. My puppies are part of that natural world unhindered by Ego, unworried about how they appear or what others think. They are not scheming about how to manipulate others. Let me qualify that because they do manipulate, but their manipulation is not with malice aforethought, as many of us do. No, their intents are clear, and unless force is used or trickery, they remain undeterred in the pursuit of their purpose. Go outside? Sassy will sit at the door, looking over her shoulder, come and nudge my hand, and go back to the door — until I let her out. Purpose and focus to the point of fulfillment. And insistence — nothing less than success will do. The difference with dogs and humans are dogs don’t operate out of duplicity. They simply act on their nature. This is why knowing Self, awakening to Heart, our true nature not overlaid with Ego, stands as the most basic, foundational, simplest event in life. Discovering our true nature means we can act according to our personal truth and skip so much of the treacherous, egotistic behavior that marks and mars us as a species. Perhaps one of the most interesting abilities and characteristics my puppies have is to read the energy of people, mine included. I could never pull anything over on them no matter how I made my voice sound. If I try being sweet when I want to get them inside, they don’t buy it. I have seen so many times when they have sensed negative energy from people and either barked or backed away. On the other hand, there are a few people in the neighborhood I wasn’t so sure about, and lo and behold, the pups go straight to them and eat up their attention. I’ve also seen how super sensitive our girl is with little kids. Even if they run at her, she will go into her down position and just let them love all over her. I’ve seen her do the same thing a number of times with disabled individuals. Sensitive to those who tend to be more helpless and voiceless (in the case of one man who had suffered a stroke). Seems like a lot of people could learn from that, which is partly why I will mention the deplorable situation and the dog and pony show that has occurred in Syria. When political, religious or any other kind of leaders engage in their Ego purposes and destruction of lives result, they have rejected the voice of their own Heart. Bad energy. The primary way dogs sense anything, including energy, is through smell. The whole bunch of shit around American response this week, from the beginning of the week — no involvement — to the missiles, and the cause of it elicited by the soulless, gutless murderers of Assad’s forces, Russia, and ISIS — it all stinks. If my dogs smelled any of them on any side, they would bark relentlessly along with some well-timed growls. There are no positive vibes from these assholes. However, if I ever met any of them on a personal basis, I would try to be like my pup and be myself, express my true nature. They would hear about Ego and Heart; they would be faced with their own actions. Of course, if they smelled bad, I would do my best to chase them into hiding and face themselves. Yeah, I know. Big talk. They would have me imprisoned, tortured, or murdered. What more could one expect? The Ego state is their chosen nature. They really do need to spend some time around my dogs. It’s interesting that the current president doesn’t have one. Blessings! I should have known better, in a way. But on reflection, I probably never will. I suppose I am incapable of learning some things. As long as I’m not irresponsible, I’ll accept the consequences.
What am I referring to? My article last night. When I feel strongly, passionately about something and write from that place, I find logic gaps or blunt statements that don’t always work well. I wrote about the whole missile attack on Syria and what prompted it: people. Real people who simply wish to live in happiness, who are the primary fabric of Syrian culture, who have little idea why their lives have been ripped apart — these are the ones who have no voice. And while we have a more comfortable physical existence, we have no more voice when it comes to the big things like war, mainly because we never know the actual facts. In war, the real people are forgotten until the egotistical oligarchs engineering the whole tragedy tally the destruction. I’m straying, so back to my point. I need to be as forgiving to myself as I am to others. I didn’t like the raw passion in the piece last night, but that sort of thing has happened and will happen again as long as I continue this daily writing. It’s important to be true to my Purpose and the expression of that in my current Vision. However, when faced with weariness, challenges occur. And my Heart reminds me that I have written through deaths, holidays, birthdays, anniversaries, serious decisions, and many more adversities, but I have produced. Sometimes, that’s just the best that can be done, and in those most difficult times one thing I have that I hope dear people like the Syrians have is hope. Hope has not failed me, even when I allow a few self-defeating ego words and thoughts to creep in. My Heart and hope quickly make me face that Ego and choose Purpose, Vision, and Spirit. Ego offers none of those things. Hope and the inspiration of Heart overcome. Robert Fulghum, who most educators know from his poster and book All I Ever Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten, says, “I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge. That myth is more potent than history. That dreams are more powerful than facts. That hope always triumphs over experience.” Imagination, dreams, and hope sustained me yesterday, and these qualities became part of my blessing towards the Syrian people. Screw the politicians and their machinations, reputations, and posturing. In my Morning Pages post yesterday, right at the end I shared a quote from John Lennon’s song “Imagine.” It is in the spirit of Robert Fulghum’s words. “You may say I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one. I hope someday you’ll join us. And the world will live as one.” There is no room for crass nationalism in such a spirit. However, I’m not naive, and facts should be known and misconstrued “truth” should be exposed. I believe the absolute base for making political, social, and economic decisions should be love, light, and idealistic hope. Anything less is not humanitarian, noble, or wise. Is that stupid or foolish? So do you know who said these words? “It’s really a wonder that I haven’t dropped all my ideals, because they seem so absurd and impossible to carry out. Yet I keep them, because in spite of everything, I still believe that people are really good at heart.” Here’s a hint: the author was wiser, knew more, and had stronger convictions than the whole of all sitting bodies of politicians currently serving in their positions (dramatic generalization), including Trump, Putin, and anyone supporting more destruction — ISIS, al-Assad… . I will leave it to you to discover the author of those words, and I tell you this person falls in the category of folks like Mahatma Ghandi, Jesus, and those who love in such simplicity yet go unnamed. Blessings, because we all need them. All day I have been feeling blah, which I wrote about maybe five hours or so ago. Then, boom, the sort of things that I think led me to blah mushroomed. So, this will be short, blunt, and maybe offensive. Quite honestly, I don’t give a shit who this may offend.
Personal philosophy means everything as of tonight. Yes, I had a blah day, and I consciously, purposefully called on my Heart to help me process my emotions and thoughts. If you are of the opinion that knowing Self and believing, living, and hoping in love and light are secondary to 50–60 cruise missiles launched against a bunch of egotistical assholes by another group of egotistical assholes, then you are leading a life that falls short of why you chose to come here. Let me make my beliefs clear. America is not first. Human life and dignity is first, and America does not always stand for those. My opinions and stances have changed gradually over the past several decades, but more radically in the last five years or so. The promise and power each one of us possesses cannot be eliminated by politics, oligarchs, or wars. Those who promulgate the sorts of actions occurring as have come about in Syria have violently and rankly denied what it means to come here for Purpose and Happiness. “Lines in the sand” mean nothing to Heart; that is all Ego. America first is bullshit. One politician declaring how he is better than is predecessor is pure Ego when human lives are at stake; it has zero place. Humanity first is Heart-truth. Love, light, life, and happiness — those are the guiding principles, not pompous politicians declaring how offended they are about atrocities they know have been happening. If you care, look up those who have been ministering to those in Syria and the Syrian refugees themselves. If you care, how do you respond to hypocrisy of denying entry of refugees but ordering missiles to supposedly help the same people? Yeah, no justification because Ego is the motive. Yet, the current administration would have prevented those poor, devastated people entry into a nation that could easily accommodate and show compassion to them. Again, bullshit. This government, any party represented in Washington, could have taken more of a stand against such bullshit. They could have taken Heart-stances, instead of Republicans versus Democrats and vice versa, on other issues like the oil pipelines bulldozing the leadership of Native Americans who have been oppressed and murdered no less than the innocent peoples of Syria. Again, bullshit. So, here is my summation. If we are only motivated by and act and interact based on Ego impulses — political affiliations do not mean anything here — then we are missing the mark of our choice in diving into time and space. That’s a personal choice, and I lament the happiness that is being missed because of such choices. If, however, Ego is being engaged that results in death, destruction, and propagation of such, then that is evil, whether it’s Russia, Syria, America, North Korea, China, or any other nations — and that includes the leadership and support of such leadership. This sort of strong opinion on my part means I will probably be drained once again by tomorrow morning. What I know is Trump is doing nothing to help anyone except himself by trying to make himself superior to President Obama or anyone else — all Ego. Yes, I believe in exposing Ego-bullshit as such. Again, it’s not wrong, but it’s a sellout to Heart. It means loss of happiness, acceptance of mediocrity, and resignation to desperation for the masses. However, to those who purposefully engage in oppressing, repressing, deceiving, and destroying Heart-truth, truths that have been articulated, even in their shortcomings, by ideals of such things as “life, liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness,” they act in complicity with evil. Enough for tonight. I will leave with what I have needed all day, and wonderful connections in social media have provided: Hope! “Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.” “I have decided to stick to love…Hate is too great a burden to bear.” Both quotes are from Martin Luther King, Jr. Tonight, I love you no matter what you believe; however, I will expose bullshit in fellowship with the light and love that characterized great women and men of the past. Blessings, love, and peace for you individually and for the lovely people of Syria and all others, including multitudes here in America, who suffer oppression at the hand of oligarchical egotists. Love to you all — yes, the assholes, too. Blessings! |
Questions to consider:How many times have you asked yourself or simply thought about the following questions?
Who am I, really? What is my truth? How do my actions reveal what I really feel and believe? What would I do with my life if I could do anything? What is my passion? Why am I here? How can I discover answers to any of these questions? If you have considered any of these questions, I hope that my experiences and writing will give you some guidance. Please read my blog and comment and share your thoughts. I would love to hear from you! Archives
December 2019
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