You know what has helped me feel better the last few days? Several things, really, but one in particular is the fact that I don’t accept self-judgment, shit that is still contained in some old Ego capacitors that are sending out impulses through old circuitry, although that power is fading. If I don’t accept self-judgment, I sure am not going to accept the judgment of others. Life actions, for me, are not primarily about judging them to be right or wrong.
Why did this even come up for me? Mainly because I feel I am not making the sort of progress I set for myself about my writing, especially the last two weeks. Yesterday, I gradually wore down to self-disgust by the end of the night. Not good. Never good. Always old ego. And any rationalization of that by saying there’s some sort of reason for it is ego, too. However, that doesn’t mean some dynamic is not operative giving an opening for Ego-voice. I addressed that with my heart this morning, a productive meeting of my mind and soul with Heart. I brought up the issue, and I was forced to consider the resistance I have had to an area of my life, one which has interfered with me expressing core Self. That specific thing is immaterial right now, but I had to admit I resisted it, which is what gave Ego the opportunity to wear me down yesterday. It wasn’t severe, but it was one of those challenges helping me to grow. And Heart brought me to the point of the concept of intention, which follows rather nicely with the things I’ve shared recently. I certainly didn’t plan it that way, though. Intention requires attention. It cannot be a whimsical, brief response if it’s to be significant and authentic. I needed to evaluate, clarify the issues involved, delineate my responses to those issues, and declare my intentions — carefully formulated intentions, to the Universe in an act of co-creation. Attention and energy flowed to this, I assure you. Again, I went through this because I realized I was resisting an action I need to release in order to more fully live life Purpose, to express the specifics in my life of the framework I have shared concerning the foundations of the Grand Unified Theory of Humanity. Awesome, but some pain involved. Once I stated my intentions to the Universe, I made Spirit co-conspirator in my plot — my way of looking at it. I know the law; if I do my part, the Universe does its part. If I don’t, then the Universe has nothing to do — no judgment involved. I think about two quotes, one I always invoke when considering the concept of judgment. First, though, is a more learned but no more valid conclusion from Carl Jung: “It all depends on how we look at things, and not on how they are themselves.” How we look at things is what assigns judgment, and why would I do that to myself? Shakespeare’s character Hamlet observes to his friends, “There is nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so.” I think I want to live in the love and light of the Universe, and for me, that means not thinking in a judging way but acting on my intentions. Acting on intentions provides an alternative to self-judgment. The Universe will work its magic if I work mine!
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Hey, it’s just a framework, really! As I have shared some of my personal experiences of my spiritual awakening and discovering Heart, my core Self, I have also shared a framework. I don’t honestly know if that’s the best term, but it works for me. I have no insistence that it is the way, the truth, or the light, but it is mine. My hope has been others will be aided either as they seek meaning for themselves or affirmation of their experiences. I have simply analyzed for elements that seem to be common as folks emerge into consciousness.
In a sense, my last eight posts along with this serve as a prequel or the philosophical background to the previous 247 articles. I have done this because of some comments and questions from others, and I think it’s important. This series also serves as the foundational section of my Grand Unified Theory of Humanity. Without discovery of Self, humanity manifests the array of personal and societal problems all about us today. I have observed these, as well as the positives, in many of my past articles. I want to ensure the foundation makes sense. Without further explanation, let’s look at the next piece of lattice in the framework: Mission. Again, the elements might occur in different order over different time spans, addressed one time and then readdressed another, or any of dozens of variations; however, these elements are common in experience. Just in case you didn’t read these last night, I’m copying and pasting here to set up for the next elements. Self-awareness Who am I? What is my purpose, my reason, in being here? Relationship with Heart, core Self When one knows those are the questions, Heart must be asked these directly. Identity of core Self — maybe a new name (highly suggested) When we get that answer, come to that awakening of knowing we have Heart, eternal Spirit in this body, when we begin the possibly vague recognition that Heart stands in contrast to Ego, then, we have begun to know Self. Co-creation of Purpose Make a decision. What do you want your life to be about? How do you want to express your core Self as an expression of the love of the Universe to our world? Co-creation of Vision Now, we are in the fellowship of the Heart. We go through that process of bringing our experience, talents, passions, dreams, interests, curiosities — bring it all to Heart and co-create that vision. For me, writing and communications. These all flow into one to another, maybe not sequentially, though; working it all out isn’t always easy, but it is rewarding, rich, and meaningful. And the elements I’m adding tonight are no different. Mission We work out our vision on a daily basis by forming, designing, and planning our mission. My vision is to express my core Self, my Purpose of discovery, through communication arts, especially written form. I chose how I would start. I did that initially through poetry. Even though it was largely unpublished, I still did it because I felt it, knew it from the fellowship of my heart. I had to plan it, though. I decided on an organizational process for my poems. But I was involved in other work, too. After completing what I felt was the first phase of my poetry writing, I wrote the novel, The Fellowship of the Heart, which has been ongoing for several years. Organization is not my strength, primarily because I allow too many things to go on at once, so my novel languished for over a year until I did some revisions, finally employed a professional editor, got feedback, and now am rewriting. But there is more, because after the beginning of this year, I knew, my Heart directed, I had to publish. I made my plan: an article every day. This is the result of that. My mission currently consists of a threefold process: daily publications, novel rewrite, and the shorter time frame of developing my first ebook, The Grand Unified Theory of Humanity. So I have a lot of mission work to do on a day to day basis, probably over-planned, but that is okay. I’ll work it out. This obviously, is a fluid process, a transmutable element, but whatever form or genre I write in, or whatever speaking I may work on marketing, it will all be an expression of my life Purpose, Discovery, and my Vision to make that purpose live, communication. My mission is how I communicate. Goals These are those things I put in the dreaded planner. I told you I am not good at organizing. Not quite true. I had to be as an educator, but the reality is I don’t like rigidity. I know it’s necessary, so I do it. And anyone who wants to live Purpose should, too, probably, in some form or another. When I write down my goals, I quickly see I have over-booked my own time, which is one of my current challenges. But it’s one of the blessings, too! I hope this has been helpful. We grow from this framework; we can operate and mature based on these elements. And as we learn Heart from increasing fellowship, we evolve. And there are no rights and wrongs. Just know yourself, keep close to Heart, use Heart as your operating system, and enjoy the journey, as full and rich and challenging as it will be. Are we good?! I am always open to questions, so do not hesitate. Blessings! Enthralling! Mesmerizing! Jubilant! No, I’m not just making a list of interjectory adjectives! When I think of who we really are and what we are capable of, it’s overwhelming, delightfully, deliciously overwhelming.
We chose to come here in physical bodies, bearing within us a part and parcel of eternal Spirit. That part is representative, essence, substance of the whole. But do you know the beauty of it? Once me, my whole being, becomes physical form, that part of eternal Spirit is changed by this experience, colored, seasoned, flavored, designed in a unique, eternally unique way. And when this life energy returns to the eternal state, there will be a part of that energy field that bears my distinct energy signature; it will be me! Yeah, that’s exciting, but think of the power we have here, expressing eternity in our mortal bodies. Discovering this is why we came here. Proof? This is where those big questions come from. We want to know origins, reasons, rationale (not rationalization). Delight. That’s my word of the day. I delight in this knowledge. Beyond that, once I came to a fuller knowledge of this, I started experiencing it, living it, on a day to day basis. Does it mean perfection? No. Does it mean no more pain, fear, doubt, challenges? No. It means I can go through all that with direct access to the Universe and all the energies of life revealed in a multitude of ways. How do we realize these, come into the good of these? Well, glad you asked that question, at least that you read the question. And again, I will share my experience and offer a part of the framework of the Grand Unified Theory of Humanity. I have no idea how it might work for another individual; I know, though, everyone, once connecting with Heart, will grow into and live this facet of awakening — if they choose to engage in the fellowship of the Heart, or whatever they may call this dynamic. I decided I needed to tease out the information from last night’s article, and this is it. When I came to know self, I understood and knew it implied Purpose. I determined, through the deliberations in the conversation with my own Heart, that I would write. The overall Purpose, though, was bound in the bigger picture of who I knew I was as Spirit, as Heart: Discovery. That is the name of Heart, of that part of eternal Spirit I bear in this mortal body. I chose it. It worked. I would be about helping others discover as I continue to discover. Since it all happened for me as I spoke with my Heart, I chose that my vision for how I would express Discovery would be through communications — writing, primarily, but also speaking and working with individuals, most of that associated with my writing. And I love it! Delighted with it! Challenges, hardships, struggles both internal and external are all part of the journey. My journey in creating my vision. This journey needs further elaboration, and I plan on dealing with that tomorrow. Developing journey creates wonderful blessings for the creator and those who receive the results of the creation. As I said, delightful! I have shared aspects of awakening I have known that provide a framework that I think are part of anyone’s experience— maybe not in the same order, time frame, circumstances, or any other way. Self-awareness Rising self-awareness in response to Heart’s urging — sometimes gentle whispers, sometimes screaming — that brings one to the questions: Who am I? What is my purpose, my reason, in being here? Relationship with Heart, core Self When one knows those are the questions, Heart must be asked these directly. Heart answers, and we better listen, or we fall into the same cycle only to end up at the same questions. Identity of core Self — maybe a new name (highly suggested) When we get that answer, come to that awakening of knowing we have Heart, eternal Spirit in this body, when we begin the possibly vague recognition that Heart stands in contrast to Ego, then, we know Self. Name the character and essence of that core Self, maybe then, maybe later, but keep speaking to Heart. Do not allow Ego to redirect, to rationalize, or to discourage. Co-creation of Purpose Now, make a decision. What do you want your life to be about? How do you want to express your core Self as an expression of the love of the Universe to our world? I knew my Purpose would be related directly to my new name of Discovery. How would I live Discovery? Co-creation of Vision Now we are in the fellowship of the Heart. We go through that process of bringing our experience, talents, passions, dreams, interests, curiosities — bring it all to Heart and co-create that vision. For me, writing and communications. Now, we are set up to continue the journey. By the way, none of the above are done deals, necessarily. Discover anything delightful from this?! Blessings! “Wow! I did it! I spoke with my Heart! I had a real conversation. Smooth sailing from here on out!”
Once anyone has established a relationship with their own heart, life is not a done deal. That’s when real living begins. That’s also when real challenges begin. Coming to know I had spoken with that deepest part of me, core Self, exhilarated me. In my experience on that August night over four years ago, my yearning to awaken to self extended to my purpose in being here on this earth. I think it’s fairly normal when dealing with either of those questions that the other is implicit, consciously or subconsciously. Who am I? Why am I here? I learned something crucial that night, and it wasn’t the ego part of me. My Heart spoke to me, urged me, and taunted me a bit to decide what my life Purpose from then on would be. The ego inclination and society-modeled pattern depends on a number of possibilities for determining this. Many hold the widespread belief that life Purpose is something that has been pre-determined and you either find it or you don’t. I am not bashing any religion, but to make people dependent on God having mapped out a plan becomes unreasonable. Why would God do that? Why would God say, “I know what you’re supposed to do, but you have to hunt around for it.” Nope, don’t buy it, even with the provision that it’s good for us to be dependent and work through challenges and those sorts of concepts. Of course, because we need purpose, because we want to know that we matter, that we are significant, that others know we’re alive and benefit this world — because we are human and that’s just the way it is — we seek purpose desperately. When folks resign themselves to their “fate,” then even the seeking stops. Bad news. However, for those moving forward in life, still seeking, frustration grows. In our society, a widespread frustration usually leads to a thriving therapy sector. Let me make something clear. If you want to seek your life purpose in God, religion, or therapy, I think those routes can help and maybe work for you. If you look for outside confirmation, if you aren’t sure that you have co-created your life Purpose with your Heart, a slice of eternal Spirit, a co-creation with Universe, then you will still doubt and question. Standing up against challenges really becomes a challenge, then. We have already been given everything we need. No rights or wrongs exist. I don’t even think it’s a one thing for a lifetime deal, necessarily. It can evolve, based on my experience. We grow. We want to make sure we grow in knowledge of Heart by fellowshipping with our Heart. Last night I referred to dreams, passions, interests, knowledge, skill sets, experience, and whatever else may be applicable. Maybe you’re a list maker. Maybe you’re an emotion-thinker. Left brain, right brain, or like me, brain-drained. It doesn’t matter as long as you discuss any or all of these things with Heart. Evaluate yourself in Heart-light. Hear what you need to. Process your thoughts and engage your mind through Heart. Hear what is being said. I asked my Heart that night what I would do. I thought about many things for some time. My Heart kept questioning me about each idea. I recorded the final phase of that conversation in my poem, which I have previously published, “The Bird Bath Moon.” The upshot of my fellowship that night consisted of evaluations, and my Heart asked me what I wanted, what I would wish for if I could do anything. My response was, “What if I wish wrong?” Do you know the taunt I heard? “It’s not a birthday cake!” Then, I heard wisdom. I knew it was from that eternal part of me: “You are creator! Create your fate!” “I am a writer.” Embodied in that statement from my lips were a number of ideas. My skills as an educator would be used in a different way. My drive to learn, to discover, would be involved in writing. In fact, that night, I had my mind set on poetry. I had already written a number of them. I had no idea I would be writing these daily posts or that I would be at the point of bringing a novel to publication. No idea at all. “I am a writer.” Let me finish with this. I don’t believe any urgency exists, but I do care for those who are seeking. I am Discovery, and I want those seeking to discover Self and Purpose. I want you to know you create your own fate. Use God, religion, therapy, whatever you need to, but bring anything you do to your own Heart. Make your final decision in the fellowship of the Heart. Blessings! The competing dynamics of Ego and Heart present deep challenges; they really do. And it may be indecipherable if it were not for the fact that Heart doesn’t lie. Heart deals straight.
When we first awaken to core Self, Ego alerts right away. The rationalizations begin almost immediately, in my experience. And when we are developing this new, thrilling relationship with Heart, sometimes it’s hard to tell the difference, but not that hard. I’ll tell you how. This is what Ego sounds like as it begins competing questions, questions producing their own conflicts: “What about your job? How will your parents or friends or spouse feel about this? Won’t it let people down if you don’t use common sense? You have so much going for you; are going to throw it all away?” Or the classic “If you dance now, won’t people think you’re weird?” All of these questions and thousands more have one thing in common. Do you see it? Yep, you’ve got it. They’re all about You in relationship to the Other, to the way we will be perceived by them. Nothing about dreams, passions, enthusiasm, creativity, visions. Nothing about individuality. Do you really get how you can tell the difference? Ego forces conformity. Conformity helps us avoid making a scene, creating a ruckus, garnering the disapproval and judgment of society at large, doesn’t it? Oh, this doesn’t mean no problems; it simply means avoiding problems we would personally create by living the truth of who we are. Who we are lies at the root of all of this. Our core Self is a piece, parcel, allotment of eternal Spirit that is an integral part of us as a total person. That portion of Spirit comes here within each of us in order to experience this mortal creation in a unique way and to expand this creation in a unique way — as the personality of you or me. Part of the deal, though, is these mortal bodies come with the default operating system of ego for preservation. In fact, Ego circuits have imprinted themselves throughout our psychological and emotional make-up. When we experience those waves of self-examination about the big questions of life, we must recognize our own Heart breaking through ego circuitry. Heart has its own circuitry, and it is deeper, more mysterious and magical and spiritual, but we must choose it, flip a toggle to shift to Heart operating system. When we do, we begin to experience and consider the possibilities, not bound by ego-directed conformity. Do we understand the significance of this? When we don’t flip the toggle, we are denying, sidestepping, running from the reason we came here and entered time and space: to manifest that part of eternal energy housed in us, that part unique to us, that part colored, seasoned, and personified by our soul and mind and body. That’s what is wrong with it. We actually have the power to deny the expression, the unique expression, of eternal Spirit in us. We came here to live eternity in time and space, to express the realities of Spirit here. As we grow spiritually, we experience those good things. And how do we engage to experience them? How do we express trite-sounding but Universe-moving qualities like love, peace, joy, unity, and myriad more miraculous, soul-enriching, Universe-expanding traits? This brings us back to those stirrings of soul embodied in the questions of who we are and why we’re here. We explore our passions, dreams, and enthusiasm combined with our knowledge and experience and what moves our mind and soul when we have shifted to Heart operations, when we have opened our mind and soul to the fellowship of the Heart. We employ the inherent creativity we each possess in our own particular way. Oh, there is more, but that will have to wait. So much more. I hope the immense impact of this encourages you to explore and discover the essence of core Self and the possibilities of expressing Self to this world. We will all benefit by that, benefit in love, knowledge, innovation, progress, and too many things beyond my limited thoughts to capture. After experiencing the elements I suggested as a framework last night, I will summarize tonight’s additions here. 1. Make sure you establish and maintain a direct, real conversation with your own Heart: use the Heart Operating System (hOS). 2. Learn to recognize when the Ego Operating System (eOS) is engaged: conformity; rationalizations of why dreams can’t be lived; ideas trying to make you right, good, better than everyone else; ideas that you can never be as good as anyone else — diabolical, isn’t it? 3. Start speaking to your Heart about those dreams, passions, interests — things you are enthusiastic combined with your knowledge and experience, i.e., start formulating an action plan with your Heart. (More about vision development — maybe tomorrow!) Many blessings in the fellowship of the Heart! |
Questions to consider:How many times have you asked yourself or simply thought about the following questions?
Who am I, really? What is my truth? How do my actions reveal what I really feel and believe? What would I do with my life if I could do anything? What is my passion? Why am I here? How can I discover answers to any of these questions? If you have considered any of these questions, I hope that my experiences and writing will give you some guidance. Please read my blog and comment and share your thoughts. I would love to hear from you! Archives
December 2019
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