Okay, I have to admit something. I have written for the last two days about transformation to end up spending this third day to sum it up. Why? Transformation Tuesday, of course! It would probably be better if I were transforming my body more vigorously, but our inner being, inner essence deserves just as much, if not more, attention. So, while I will have no before and after pics, I have grown, have experienced transformation, and continue to engage in transformative actions. How about you?
I want to bring this to a culmination today built around a topic dear to me, one which I have previously discussed: education and its transformation. Transformation is about leaving old forms behind for new, more useful, evolved forms: New form (-) Old form = Transformed. I mentioned how ego works hard to maintain old forms, and sometimes those closest to us, immediately around us, family, friends, colleagues, loved ones, work just as hard to maintain old forms, which really gives the old ego a boost! “Hey, I must be really good, really helpful, really dynamic,…, if they want me to keep doing this so badly.” This could be true, and we might be great; however, the transforming energy source, Heart, should drive our transformation. Then, what anyone else says or thinks just doesn’t matter. This is how so many dreams are killed, tabled, or remain dreams. “Why would you want to do…? You are so good at this? Do you have any idea what you will need to do, learn, finance, etc., if you try that?” Ego jumps all over this, like flies on dog shit. Safety, protection, ease, admiration — you name it. Heart just doesn’t care. Now, this does not mean I pay no attention to others; it does mean, though, that if others try to dissuade me from heart action, transformative action, then I know they are appealing to my ego, and I need to be careful. Lost dreams are untransformed dreams. Untransformed dreams die. The heart never gives up, but it does grow quieter when it is ignored. Heart emits positive energy and thrives on reception of that energy by our willing minds, and it reinforces even the smallest transformative actions taken in response to that energy. The proof is in the pudding when we say we are in the process of transforming. We have to look different, have different processes, show different outcomes. Which brings me to education. Government, citizens, families, millions of people spend billions of dollars on education reform. Looking at the etymology of the word, it means to form again; it uses the same material. It’s like having a clay model of a school building that you don’t like, smushing it into a ball, and re-sculpting it. You didn’t change the freaking material; outward form may look different but essential material is the same. Current prevailing educational philosophy is ego-driven. How? The whole clay model shows how we will pour knowledge into these empty little people, they will learn it because we know more and know what’s important, and then, we will make sure they have it by giving big tests that tell them if they are failures or not. What new material is needed? Heart material, which produces transformation: etymologically, across forms, a metamorphosis, a new something emerges. And it is a wonderful thing when a new way of thinking, a new creation emerges from students who have come to know themselves, know their own hearts. My aforementioned formula stated New form (-) Old form = Transformed. Heart knowledge (draw out) (-) Ego knowledge (pour in) = Transformed (self-realized, actualized young people who know how to think, create, learn, relate, and a thousand other things). The old ego knowledge means that students come out saying that they could pass certain tests and now they are prepared to take orders to be able to hold down a job. Guess what we get? Masses of people who lead lives of quiet desperation — loss of dreams, talents, creations that would help humanity evolve. I would be willing to bet that more dreams and the spirit of dreaming die untransformed in school than anywhere else, more than in any other formal organization, even though it is mostly a subconscious effort, an informal conspiracy. Therefore, education does not need to be reformed. Not one more dollar should be spent on just reorganizing the same old shit. It needs to be transformed, which begins with it being redefined as a heart-driven, heart-discovering, heart-evoking venture. What does that mean, practically? Well, a lot of things, and that is where transformation begins — with transformative actions. That is the subject of true professional development. Such actions begin with raising awareness of the issue, because where attention goes, energy flows, and we need heart energy flowing into education. Awareness of a new way of thinking allows us to start taking daily, little, transformative steps, actions, that build. And this is the only way a transformation will occur because the establishment will never embrace this. Too much money is at stake. Maybe I naively believe change will happen; I am not naive, however, about the disastrous effects the old form will have, is having, on humanity. And it’s not because it’s bad; it’s because it kills the effects of the most powerful force we possess — the heart. And it’s subtle and undetected because we see happy teachers with precious children, all doing their best. Why do I care? Because of those teachers and children. Education should be at the heart of discovery, and I am all about discovery. I want ego efforts and constructs of others to stop being dumped into children through so-called reform. I want to draw out those young hearts in the spirit of discovery. Just outside the sliding glass patio doors, the cicadas chirp — not loudly, not incessantly, but rather rhythmically — this approaching nightfall. I was going to say quickly approaching nightfall, but if I said that, it would only be my perception. It is no quicker than any other evening. The cicadas’ chirping, while it may vary in intensity and numbers, is not quantitatively different in tone than any other time. This late August evening, in fact, carries soothing nostalgia, powerful nostalgia — transporting my mind and emotions back many years, when I was a little boy, sitting outside under the pine tree in the quadrangle of the tidy south St. Louis apartment complex where we, our family, lived.
I felt secure, hidden, private under the widely spaced boughs of the fragrant pine, cones littered around me, sitting atop a thick, padded, silky blanket of slightly dried needles. I recall touching some glistening sap, pressing my forefinger and thumb together, and sniffing them deeply to inhale the resinous aroma. I giggled internally, because I didn’t want to startle the little birds I could hear not far above me, as I wondered if they even knew I was there. Mr. Whipple didn’t know I was there as he sat in his aluminum lawn chair just staring, nor did Mr. Vanderplum as he worked on his car across the street. It was such a wonderful, full, sensation, thinking that I could privately experience my little part of the world and the world was totally unaware of my observing, delighting eye. Only a boy, I still thought about ideas like that. I wonder now how much of it had to do with being upset about alcohol and things I perceived as nastiness, things that I perceived hurt me. However, it was my world, my experience, and my pine tree, and I would not trade it for anything — or my parents’ love. I felt one with the tree, one with the birds above me, one with the pine and its cones and needles and sap, and I was free of all limitations — in my mind. Nice, but I need to awaken from the reverie. I didn’t then, nor did I for years for various reasons to which I could assign blame. Some might question why I would want to awaken. Why? Because to be enrapt for awhile creates dreams, allows us to hear the whisperings of Heart, but to progress to being entranced allows Ego to lull us into being trapped in old forms: it feels comfortable and tingly and soothing, so even in a painful, purposeless life situation, we are prone to remain. The reality? To be a child of loving but alcoholic parents created confusion, and I returned to the pine tree many times. As long as I could grab such moments, all was tolerable. Such learned patterns can occur in quite literally a plethora of situations, which is why so many of us end up as I did. Instead of seeing possibilities, we just feel comforted, and instead of taking the initiative, risk, and desire to forge out into exploration and adventure, listening to heart, shutting a deaf ear to all but Heart, we accept what we perceive as the safer, familiar life. And we are left with that emptiness, vaccuum, longing, and questioning deep inside; we are left with an untransformed, unfulfilled life. We all, everyone, want transformation. If we are to realize the answers to those driving questions to which I referred last night, we need to be taking daily, transformative actions. What those are for you, I would have no idea, but maybe simply sharing my experience will strike some sympathetic chord for your understanding of who you are and what your purpose is here. Sitting under a pine tree just won’t do it. This is just where I am now, having come through various experiences. I have realized my identity is Discovery, and my heart has made it clear: I discover self and help others to do that through my writing. I must, then, write, every day, some way, somehow, if I am to express love for myself and you and the world. My major transformative action, then, every day, is to write. Then, other transformative actions are to do whatever I can to get that work out there, to share it, to enjoy it with you. Therefore, I work and enjoy activities associated with writing, even when I keep encountering new learning curves. No matter how frustrated I may get with social media know-how, publishing skills, or lack of income, I can always turn to my heart, and every time I have done that over the past five years, I have heard the same word: Write! Write! Write! Engaging consistently, then, in transformative actions is based on faith in my own heart — not stupid, not irresponsible, not insensitive, but not safe, comfortable, or catering to my ego or those egos of anyone else. Based on that faith, I must dig in and perform. I must act. I must write. And when I tirelessly work those musts, they become privilege, joy, a genuine, gritty, daily delight. What have you heard from your heart? You know, sitting under a pine tree can be a transformative experience, as long as you hear your heart there and get up and move. And don’t keep going back, don’t stay stuck in assuaging ego. Arise, engage in the work of transformation; it’s what we all want and need. And in my mind, at times when Nature and sense trigger the little memories, it’s nice to revisit places like the pine tree of my seven year old self. Sweetness and lessons are there, and they help me to remember: Don’t stay stuck. Transform. Transform. Transformation. Transformative. Verb. Noun. Adjective. Action. Process. Description. A very useful word — to change form, a new form, description of the experience of becoming a new form.
So many of us mistakenly say we don’t want change, we don’t like change, or change makes us sick. News flash! Whether we want to or not, we engage in change every day; at the very least, we transform energy when we eat and move and live. It’s all perception. When we say things like we hate change, we create a false sense of life for ourselves, and that is something the ego can use to make our lives truly false. Okay, I know the things we refer to when we talk about change: houses, jobs, friends, routines, but these are related to the larger principle of transformative change. I know that the mass of people want change, want to be transformed. Don’t believe me? How many times have you heard folks say — or have you said yourself — that you wish you were rich, could move to Hawaii, could have that Mercedes or Tesla or Lambo? Yeah! Guess what — if you can’t afford those things now, you have to change something. You desire transformation. So, don’t tell yourself or others you don’t like change. It gives ammo to your ego to prevent you from wonderful things. But there is something deeper than that, much deeper. We all, every one of us, somewhere inside, desire a spiritual transformation, but our egos hold onto empty forms they have constructed based on words we have told ourselves and beliefs we have created. Those old forms become rigid and reinforced when we don’t turn to the right energy source. The energy of life, of the Universe, and the earth abounds. Every atom vibrates, and that means energy is being emitted, being produced. Powerful electromagnetic waves and mechanical waves are pulsing around, through, and within us. Within us? Yes, somewhere within, some waves — different theories about that — but we have a source I call Heart, a source that communicates with those abundant energies of the Universe, a source within us that can break down, implode the old forms that hold us back from transformation, the sort of transformation we truly need and desire. Animals like my puppies sense those energies. If you’ve ever watched Cesar Milan, the Dog Whisperer, you know how finely attuned dogs are to life energy. For the most part, I really don’t even need to speak to my dogs for them to know what I intend to do. It’s why we see so many fun, moving, amazing videos on the internet: dogs interacting with other animals they wouldn’t normally — hummingbirds, elephants, cheetahs; cats with natural prey like mice and rats. I believe that normal, strong animal instincts function analogically like our ego — preserving form. However, animals seem to sense when another one is a threat or not. I have seen my puppies know instantly when a cooper’s hawk is flying overhead, especially my girl kuvasz, who is older. When her “little” brother was a puppy, a hawk swooped down at him — don’t know what he would have done with a ten pound pup! I know when a hawk is emitting a certain energy, because I see the other birds scatter when the hawk is just sitting on a branch. I know it’s all about energy, because other times, I see the hawk perched and the other birds act like it’s not even there. I get to see this often — my neighbor feeds the area birds, copiously! How do the little birds know? Energy. The same way a mouse knows the cat it’s sleeping on isn’t ready to eat him. Animals seem to be able to read energy and break the expected forms of instinct. We should take a hint. However, it’s a bit more complicated for us because of Ego filtering and creating thought patterns and beliefs reinforcing forms that no longer serve us. Our brains work overtime and respond adeptly to input, constructing intricate frameworks many believe are their truth but are only empty façades. We need to allow the energy of Heart to bring those façades down, if we wish to resolve those questions common to humanity through all our history. We desire to transform, to leave behind empty shells of form and function that hold us back from evolutionary and revolutionary growth. Most people sense an emptiness in themselves, a hole, a vaccuum that exists within. When we feel this, ego tells us that we’re in danger and must maintain our identity, hold onto what we have even more intensely, or come up with a “how-to” plan that changes circumstances but not form, or return to some previous era of life. Deep down, the answer is not in these things. When folks feel emptiness, they will ask questions. Who am I? Why am I here, in this experience? Isn’t there some greater purpose? Those serve as proof of the desire to change, to transform, to enter a transformative phase of life. Old ego forms will hold us back from transforming into People of Purpose, People of Significance, People of Love. The transforming energy of life lies within us in our Heart. If we allow that energy to demolish the the shell of the empty forms keeping us out of the flow of Universe, we will go through a transformative experience, be transformed, and live in transformation — an identity and truth of core Self. Purpose, Significance, Love — that’s transformation! I’m all for that evolutionary and revolutionary growth. I’m not sure, but it seems like intelligentsia today focuses on nullifying the very basis of my life philosophy. It’s sad for one or the other of us, I guess. I’m not really sad because I don’t really care what highly educated academics or elites have to say when it comes to the spirit that forms the foundation of significant, fulfilling lives. I value research, conclusions, and pondering about many things, but I discount efforts that seek to negate Heart energy, Heart truth. The conclusions of “geniuses” mean little.
Unless, of course, they happen to be geniuses that have chosen Heart as the basic operating system, the hOS, Heart Operating System (as opposed to the eOS, the Ego Operating System — not the camera Canon Rebel EOS!). Albert Einstein, for example, could be analyzed from my metaphysical framework, and we would find many quotes like these: “Not everything that counts can be counted, and not everything that can be counted counts.” (More true perhaps in education of our youth than in any other arena.) “People like us, who believe in physics, know that the distinction between past, present, and future is only a stubbornly persistent illusion.” “A human being is a part of a whole, called by us ‘universe,’ a part limited in time and space. …Our task must be to free ourselves..by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty.” Okay, there’s a start, especially the Nature statement. Then, I would include Sir Isaac Newton and his law of the conservation of energy: “Energy can neither be created nor destroyed, it simply changes from one form to another.” Energies of life function in us, through us, and around us constantly — no energy, no life. Two fairly smart guys, I would say. And selectively using two of their views of life and the science of life, the beauty of the intersection of their views, as well as many others, of nature and energy lends support to metaphysical, spiritual facts of life. Based on my Morning Pages, I wanted to get very specifically into some aspects of Nature I observe on a daily basis. I will probably do that tomorrow, but tonight I wish to lay out some of the background for my writing tomorrow. I quote myself from my first volume of poetry, the introduction and introductory poem. Somewhere along the way over the past 190 days, I may have used the poem, but I’m not looking for it! In the introduction I give some of my personal experience about the relationship of life energy in application and relationship to education, briefly. I will do more, promise. Here is my work, commentary to follow. “However, because of the distressing course of public education and how strongly I feel concerning the significance of education not only for our youth but also for the course of this nation and humanity, I took an early retirement. I was being forced to institute, drop by drop, an educational experience that prepared students for being mediocre employees at best, mindless pawns at worst, so I left. “Suddenly, with the freedom I had to explore possibilities, I found that I was simply overwhelmed. Throughout all of my self-studies, I just could not determine or even stay committed to focus on one course. The only peace I ever had was when I observed life and wrote about that, wrote my poetry and the self-searching questions after each one. That energy resonated with my soul. “I have always felt a particular attachment to Nature in her varied expressions, especially as past cultures looked to her and engaged in her. Therefore, to me, peoples like the Celts and Native Americans — North, Central, and South — held much wisdom, wisdom that has become increasingly obscure to us today. “Fortunately, many have valued that wisdom and movements like British and American Romanticism and Transcendentalism looked to the same Nature and the same Universe for instruction in personal as well as societal applications. In Nature, the basic energies of life are available to be transformed to meet our needs, to express ourselves, and to carry out life purpose. Axiomatically aligned with this are the spiritual longings that every human being possesses, longings that are fulfilled in each one’s own spiritual search through accessing their own life energy and connecting to the infinite energy of an infinite Universe. The Energies of Life ‘Energy can neither be created nor destroyed, but it can be transformed and it can flow from one form to another.’ From somewhere deep within, The vibrations of life, Spirit that energizes all things: Newton saw it in gravity; Vincent perceived it in stars and fields, Cypresses and wheat, Factories and faces; Jefferson used it in the affairs of government; Satchmo sounded it forth on horn; Newton and Einstein traced it in their formulae; Oh, so many yet too few have Felt and sensed those energies of life, Transformed and expressed them, Channeled them, Creatively interpreted them -- For us. Those centers, pulsing, vibrating, moving within and from bodies of flesh, Centers that ring with the essence of life, of our lives, of all life, All matter. I write them, sing them, play them, paint them in these words That you may perceive them, That you may be discoverers with me: Rainbows of red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, violet, Each color vibrating with its own frequency, Each color resonating with us, Colors of the vibrations of life Keys to the Universe And all its subsets -- For us.” And let all this suffice to say that I believe awakening to self means awakening to these energies, using them, and acting with them and through them. Hearing our heart gives us direct, unrestricted access to the forces of the Universe. Tomorrow: puppies and birdies and kitties and stuff! |
Questions to consider:How many times have you asked yourself or simply thought about the following questions?
Who am I, really? What is my truth? How do my actions reveal what I really feel and believe? What would I do with my life if I could do anything? What is my passion? Why am I here? How can I discover answers to any of these questions? If you have considered any of these questions, I hope that my experiences and writing will give you some guidance. Please read my blog and comment and share your thoughts. I would love to hear from you! Archives
December 2019
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